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Stunning teen pleasing her boss. Hot grade school girls naked. Double penetration jav bokep video. One of the best sex scenes. Ass gay hairy foot. Free sexting sluts. Spanking has a long history of popularity as a disciplinary tool. It has been handed down from generation to generation as an appropriate way to teach children to behave obediently. The "logic" that parents use to approach their children with this form of punishment varies. Some parents are completely conscious. In other words, they think "My child did something wrong. She must be punished. Therefore I will spank her to teach her a lesson. In other words, when their child misbehaves, they don't necessarily think If she misbehaves we spank her through, they just automatically react by If she misbehaves we spank her. Still other parents use spanking less as a disciplinary tool, and more as a way to release their own strong feelings of anger, frustration, or even rage. Sometimes these feelings aren't even because of something their child did. Most parents who spank are a combination of the three types of parents above. Sometimes they're conscious, sometimes they're simply reacting, and other check this out they are venting their own strong feelings. There is no doubt that the ways in which our children sometimes behave can evoke intense feelings of frustration, anger, even rage. Most parents discover depths of feeling they never knew they had until children arrived. Mature women fucking and squirting Blonde milf footjob.

Famous people caught nude. After all, they only get spanked if they get caught. Many children who are spanked just learn not to get caught! In addition, teaching children to be obedient to authority figures can be dangerous in today's society.

Many people pose as authority figures in order to take advantage of If she misbehaves we spank her. Effective discipline teaches children that there are logically related consequences for ALL misbehavior, whether there is an authority figure present or not. In choosing a "punishment", parents should If she misbehaves we spank her sure it is logically linked to the misbehavior because it's this logical relationship which teaches responsibility. As we said last month, children are faced with tough decisions in today's society.

These decisions require the child to have an internal sense of right and wrong, to be able to make responsible choices without relying on an authority figure. The problem with spanking is that the child can't learn to be responsible because there's no logical relationship between the spanking and the misbehavior, it's simply an arbitrary form of retaliation on the part of the parent. The final reason that we should substitute another form of discipline for spanking is that it teaches our children a very negative way to handle anger and problems.

Children who are hit frequently believe that hitting is an appropriate way to handle differences of opinion. Therefore, in an argument with a friend, they are more likely to lash out with their fists, rather than work it out with words. But Dr. Spock and his colleagues have learned better. Today the American Academy of Pediatrics source other child health organizations strongly oppose physical punishment in children. In a study released in Julya psychologist who analyzed six decades of research on If she misbehaves we spank her punishment found that it If she misbehaves we spank her children at risk for long-term harm that far outweighs the short-term benefit of on-the-spot obedience.

Psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff of Columbia University's National Center for Children in Poverty found links between spanking If she misbehaves we spank her aggression, anti-social behavior, and mental health problems. Gershoff spent five years analyzing 88 studies of corporal punishment conducted since Another study by psychologist Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, followed children between the ages of 2 and 4 and made this surprising finding: Kids who were spanked scored lower on tests that measured their ability to learn.

Straus thinks the reason may be that parents who don't spank their children link more time talking and reasoning with them. Straus also believes that spanking may get children to stop misbehaving in the short run, but it makes them more likely to act out in the long run. His study found that the more children were spanked, the more likely they were to fight, steal, and engage in other antisocial behavior.

This echoes several other studies, which found that children who are hit at home are more likely to become juvenile delinquents as teenagers than those who weren't physically punished.

Droopy pussy Watch Video Pussy Picnic. Related titles. Jump to Page. Search inside document. Documents Similar To Managing female misbehavior. Kept Well. Erik Ivan Espinoza. Jimi White. Dragan Milovanovic. Pastor David. Tim Taliaferro. Thomas Salas. Eric Sanford. Popular in Punishment. Nick Pearce. Arjumand Adil. Ram Mohan Atmakuri. Sons Yesu. Rahmat Ari Wibawa. Alex Syulikwa. Moniruzzaman Juror. Anonymous dCk6YA. Aman Chatterjee. April Lynn Ursal. Home Office. I learned to forgive my parents and I do see their hate love relationship. Same with my brother. When I was a child we get whoopins when we was bad. So as an adult I am aware of how this affects the child. My wife and I have raised 6 polite, confident, and well behaved kids that are pillars in the community, great grades, gone onto college except our youngest who is still in school , volunteer regularly by choice for causes that are important to them, are active in Church, et cetera. I am 42 years old and a first time parent. My 3 year old daughter threw a fit before bed. Twice we tried to calm her down and talk with her. My wife suggested I spank her since nothing was working and it was going on 10pm. So, i spanked her on the bottom. After four spanks, we again gave her an ultimatum of get into bed or another round of spankings. She climbed into bed and asked for hug and kiss. My wife let me get the first hug and kiss. She finally stayed down, but i feel awful. Sick of all the crybabies here. A parent needs to stay in control an the Child Needs to know that what mom or dad says , is Law. Your just gonna have kids disrespecting you as parents. Thinking they can do anything they want. I only smacked my daughters bottom , she was 3. Never had any reason to do again. Take a toy away? Wanna touch that knife? Want to lie? Wanna run across the street without an adult? A good stern swat on the ass does nothing but theach them consequences! Fine, but expect your butt to be warmed up. As a parent that did spank my now twelve years old twin boys a few timesI totally regret it. In retrospect I believe I did because of my own frustration in having to deal with normal kids behaviourbut because I was constantly tired, sleep deprived and alone with very active and sometimes very naughty twin boys who in my mind sought nothing but mischief I wanted a quick fix , but looking back now I see that my precious sons were just being boys. I was spanked as a child and continued the cycle. I have seen that there is a fine line between spanking and physical abuse. I have not spanked my boys in years and I can definitely say they are the most well behaved young men I know. I believe if moms are given more support and even a tiny break it helps to get her rested and make her more able to handle her children tantrums. Build discipline into a child not through fear but with love and stabilty. So grateful for the privilege of being mom to my precious boys. God bless all the moms and dads seeking to grow as our kids grow. Your article represents really normal kid stuff. I have 4 kids. But my eldest just rages — over everything, all the time. No respect for us. He pushes around his younger siblings, constantly verbally abusing all of us. There is no contrition in him. I wish I had spanked him when he was young enough for it to create a sense of respect yes, even a small amount of fear because it might have prevented him from being so unruly. The behaviour therapist recommended spanking in younger children mine is too old for that now. He said if spanking was a pre-established consequence so that the child knows it is the direct result of a particular behaviour i. I will definitely try this positive parenting. I was spanked growing up and I learned what behavior resulted in me being spanked. It could be the fact that the parent was verbally abusive while spanking or just verbally or physically abusive period. But spanking is not the sole cause. Otherwise it every child spanked would have turned out the same. My dad always talked to me before I got a spanking explaining why I was being spanked. So I feel there is the problem. Spanking has gotten out of hand with some parents. I firmly believe in spankings. Not beatings. However spankings provide good lessons to kids who have done wrong as long as the parent calmly explains the reason for disciplinary actions. Some parents will fly off the handle a whip the kids without proper explanation. This in turn will not teach a lesson but instead will make the kids fear the parents. This teaches the kids to walk all over the parents with no consequence, and the kids feel they can do whatever they want to. Finally, you have parents that might, for example, take their phone away or put them in timeout. What will this teach? Nothing at all. I can live without my phone or sitting in timeout. There is always a better discipline option that teaches your child responsibility and respect without damaging your relations or their self-esteem. This is why I teach my week Positive Parenting Teleclass …to give parents so many options for discipline that spanking is not necessary or desired. I have tried all the above without spanking and my child still refuses to obey. I was spanked as a child, I was always told why I was being spanked, my parents let me know they loved me and needed to teach me right from wrong and the consequences of doing wrong. I was also rewarded for good behavior. I respected both of my parents and love them very much. So, I do not believe in not spanking but believe it must be done in the correct manner. I am sure that I could coach you with many options for whatever disobedience that you are experiencing with your son. I teach discipline without spanking, threats or yelling. I also teach parents how their discipline can conflict with their intended values for their children. You cite a beautiful example of this concept. I can show you how to teach him to talk to you respectfully through loving based discipline rather than fear based discipline. We have an almost 3 year old boy who is generally well behaved but has recently been trying out his will. We have done all the positive parenting tricks with no success with his screaming to try to get his own way. He screams if we try to take him to the toilet before going out somewhere. He screams if we take away a toy for misbehaving. And by screaming I mean full on meltdown. He went through a tantrum phase and can now express what emotions he is feeling so it is different from a tantrum. We are very consistent so we are at a loss of what to do. We give him as much one on one as possible with having a fussy baby as well, and give lots of praise for good behaviour. His developmental stage is to figure out his power and figure out the limits on that power. You can contact me for private coaching, or take my free teleclass which may give you an insight as to where the problem is. We also address it in my week positive parenting Teleclass when we talk about the 7 reasons kids tantrum and what to do about them. When i was a child i was always spank but not that kind of spanking you guys think where bruises are left. But i knew the reason why i was spank at that time. I never got traumatized from it but the only time that i was really hurt was not from spanking but from words. Being told everything you work for was useless hurts a hundred times more than spanking. I was abused as a child by my stepmother. I also was spanked by my mom and my grandmother. I do have issues with self esteem but I think the abuse is what did that, not the spanking. Through it all I never resented my mom and I learned right from wrong. I was a good kid. I think there is a big difference from abuse and spanking. Also do you consider time outs as negative parenting? I appreciate your distinction between abuse and spanking, I agree they can be different. If you choose to parent without spanking, there are many much better ways to discipline. Small children all children are confused by spanking. With young children that you are speaking, distraction, redirection and repetition are far better options. I teach examples of this, using an example of a 6-month old, in my teleclass on dealing with power struggles. Listen to this class and let me know what you think. I have experienced the same kind of tantrums with my child who is now 5 years old. I was raised by parents who would spank with a belt and have never forgotten how that made me feel. I swore that I would raise my child in a positive and loving home. Many times my daughter has gone into screaming tantrums that lasted for an hour at a time. She would stomp, yell, throw things, and hit and kick the door of her room when I sent her in. I felt helpless and lost control enough to yell at her a few times but have never spanked or hit her and I never will. I am lucky to have a loving and empathic partner who has helped me through this. The last time she had a tantrum like this, we both held her tight while she tried to hit us both. We held her and told her how safe she was and how much we love her until it passed. This is definitely a more difficult way then spanking…but it has worked. She has been well behaved; listening and obeying, more helpful with chores, happier, and more receptive to instruction since. Spanking is the easy way but it is not the right way for me. Anything that does not do this is breaking that rule and will not be tolerated. There are many tools in my parenting toolbelt that I use that are non-violent and always work. They do take more time, effort, and energy. But I know that in the end I will be raising a child who is loving and confident. Thank you for sharing your perspective! I appreciate the time you took to add your perspective to this site. We all love our parents. I know that the negativity that results from spanking could have been avoided. I know that I would have had a greater sense of self worth and trust in my parents. I am so glad that I did. I grew up in a home of 4 with parents that believed in a good spanking when necessary. Her Grandparents had a lot to do with discipline when she was younger, which was never…. It drives me crazy. Our family is big. When I have strong willed children under the same household choices are just words to them with reactions that lead to grunts or yells or stomping…. Please help…. I can feel how frustrating it can be. My first advice is to be consistent and you HAVE to stick to your words! You can say something and never do it. It will take time! It is challenging and with the size of family you have, the clock is ticking! The best suggestion is to start showing them you mean business by: When ask: And I am just waiting for you guys to finish. When we are all calm, I can start the car again. I have done that and it works! They will be pissed! And trust me, next time they know better! You just need slowly change YOUR reaction and stick to it! If you give up, you will need to start all over again… make sure they know you mean business it is very, very hard to stick to the rules! Specially when you are exhausted. Have family rules respect each other and choices, opinion, etc. We pick up after our own mess, etc stick it everywhere! Bedrooms, bathroom, office, car, etc. When they see it, they will get reminded. Have them involved! Dusting, ask for help! Could you watch over the rice while I am setting up the table? Or vise versa. Sorry to interrupt your discussion more like fight , can you get me some napkin please? NEVER use the phrase: Stick to it, do what you say you will do if…. I have never spanked my kids. Spanking is the easy way out for parents. Get the kid to stop so they can go back doing what they were doing. So what dinner will be ready 1 hr later? My son at age of 2 started biting his sister. What I did, I booked an appointment with the dentist and we went over that teeth are for eating , and not biting. Hitting, spanking, any type of physical punishment is wrong, is th easy way out. What a mug. Seriously,spanking with love has never hurt anyone. Most Africans raise their children spanking them and so many have turned out well. My siblings and I were spanked as kids and we all turned out well and successful in our various fields and till now my friends and I sit and talk about the spanking days and even laugh about it and we hear so many stories from various people and they are all told with humor and nostalgia. You can do your research and see how Nigerians are winning in various aspects of life and various countries…e. It is those children that were not spanked that turn out to be rule breaking,selfish brats. There are big childhood moments in my life where I was spanked and spanked for good reason. A huge glob of spit right there on her cheek, and she was shrieking in disgust. I learned early just how vile it is to spit on someone and have never ever done it again. I ran and hid and again my grandmother gave me a spanking that fit the crime. I now have two sons 11 and 8. My 8-year-old is a bit of a whiner and has a smart mouth. I let my kids know that when they talk I hear them, but also that there are serious punishments for serious crimes. Spanking is just a part of my ethnicity as most hispanic people have a funny story about being spanked with a chancleta or anything their grandmother had near. The other day I saw this kid have a tantrum and throw a bunch of clothes on the floor in GAP. The things parents are letting kids get away with these days! Are you kidding me? People are really blaming their own failures and inadequacies on their parents because they were spanked? I was spanked as a child. I recall two or three times. That is all it took for me to understand there were consequences for my actions. I also received praise or other kinds of rewards for doing the right thing. My son was spanked twice when he was young. He is also well adjusted and even more successful in life than I am. The rare spankings in my family were more startling than painful. Always with pants on and never any marks. No malice was ever intended. The fact is, these are the facts. That just gave ups the drive to do better. Just my 2 cents from someone who knows better…. Spanking your child starting at 6 to 9 months?? That is totally sick and you would deserve CPS to take a visit to your house! I have never spanked my children and they all turned out to be good, loving and well established adults. If you were spanked as a kid and find it to be ok and turned out ok then consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Even if someone believes spanking is acceptable how can anyone agree to start at such a young age 6 to 9 months?? I think this is great and spot on!!!!!! She never spanks her kids and let me tell you, I have NEVER seen such respectable, well mannered, caring kids like her in my life. How can I avoid spanking my child? How can I get my toddler to behave without spanking? What can I do instead of spanking? Make your home safe. Child-proof your living space so your child won't get into things or places he shouldn't -- and you won't be overtaken by a sudden panic. Avoid direct clashes. If you order your child to stop throwing his food and he obstinately refuses, distract him instead. You can almost always find a diversion. From the earliest time that a child can begin to understand, it's important to teach morality. That is, the child should learn to do the right thing because it's right, not because he'll be punished if he doesn't do it. This can be done by explaining to the child why it's wrong to do something that may be hurtful to others. For instance, rather than saying, "If you hit me, I'll hit you back," try saying, "You shouldn't hit me because it hurts, and you know how it feels to be hurt. Teach children to avoid danger. Rather than spanking your child if he nears a dangerous spot like the fireplace , show him the fireplace and repeat his word for pain such as "owie". Soon your child will point, say "owie," and avoid the dangerous spot. Use your imagination. You're also bigger and stronger than your child you can use that to defuse a situation, rather than letting it escalate. If your child won't head for his room when it's bedtime, pick him up and turn him into an airplane heading for the runway -- his bed. Make room for negative feelings. Let your toddler express feelings like anger, sadness, and disappointment, and empathize with him "You must feel mad about that". At the same time, set limits on inappropriate behavior. You can tell him, for example, that it's okay to feel mad at his little sister for knocking over his blocks, but that he can't hit her or call her mean names. American Guidance Service. Discipline That Works, Thomas Gordon, Plume Penguin. Discipline with Dignity, Richard L. Curwin and Allen N. It's the spanking itself that was ultimately ineffective. In fact, hitting your child often has such underlying negative effects that it eventually counteracts any immediately "positive" outcome: Even if the misbehavior is postponed until they become teenagers or adults. In order to understand how we can choose more effective methods of discipline, we first need to understand why spanking a child is ineffective, and how it takes away his motivation to behave correctly. To begin, you might already have noticed that I use the words "spank", "hit" and "slap" interchangeably. The word "spank" is a euphemism for hitting or slapping. In other words, it's socially accepted and softer sounding, and invokes less guilt for most people than if they say "I hit my child", or "I slap my child. If you feel uncomfortable using the words interchangeably, good! Allow that uncomfortable feeling to be your guide in choosing an alternative form of discipline. Hitting a child severely damages a child's self-esteem. A child or adult for that matter who is hit on a regular basis begins to feel that something is essentially wrong with him. He must be "bad" inside to have evoked this kind of disrespect. Ironically, the only humans it is still legal to hit are the most vulnerable members of our society — those we are charged to protect — children. What makes parents spank kids? Corporal punishment CP is an important risk factor for children developing a pattern of impulsive and antisocial behavior…[and] children who experience frequent CP… are more likely to engage in violent behaviors in adulthood. Similarly, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry , in a statement, concluded that,. In short, spanking a child may seem helpful in the short term, but is ineffective and probably harmful in the long term. The child who is often spanked learns that physical force is an acceptable method of problem solving..

Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to suffer from depression. Don't do it. Young children are especially fragile because their brains are still developing. Every year, thousands of kids 2 and under are injured -- sometimes killed -- when they are shaken or hit. Shaken infant syndrome, as doctors call it, most often happens to kids under 1 and sometimes to those under 2. It can cause cerebral hemorrhage, blindness, severe brain damage, and even death.

While a significant number of parents still use corporal punishment, recent research shows that the majority are now choosing not to physically discipline their children.

A survey by the Gallup organization found that 94 percent of parents said they had physically punished their 4- and 5-year-old children, and nearly click to see more percent of the parents admitted to hitting children between 5 and 12 with belts, paddles, or other If she misbehaves we spank her.

But a University of Michigan poll suggests a national trend toward non-physical discipline, with just 38 percent of parents saying they are likely to spank or paddle children between the ages of 2 and 5. Spanking may temporarily stop an annoying behavior. But parenting is a long-term proposition, and research shows that in the long-term If she misbehaves we spank her isn't effective.

Many parents who start spanking soon find they need to up the ante -- to spank more and harder in order to get their child's attention. Hitting a child while yelling, "this is the only way If she misbehaves we spank her can get through to you," becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Many experts have also found that over time, spanking makes a child angry and resentful; he also becomes less -- not more -- willing to do what you ask. That pattern can begin as early as age 1.

But they do need professional support and education, aimed at reducing their level of stress and increasing their use of alternatives to corporal punishment. Ronald W. This article was originally published on The Conversation.

Read the original article. This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By continuing to use our website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our cookie policy. They made plans and had expectations about parenting. And when If she misbehaves we spank her fall apart, they too fall back to a system of reprimand that has been passed down for thousands of years. And I feel that this is what is the most important caveat for the use of spanking — a clear If she misbehaves we spank her.

My definition for Spanking — There are If she misbehaves we spank her forms of spanking. The first is most certainly the preferred method. A child is warned that their behavior will result in a spanking. They will call you out every time. Do not give more than one warning. The child will come to see warnings as meaningless posturing. After the one warning, if bad behavior persists, take your child into a separate room. They will likely struggle. You are an adult not a monster.

Once separated, issue three swats to the posterior.

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The entire process before hand is where the learning happens. The child misbehaved, you warned them, they tested your resolve and you showed that you were not lying. The child learns that you are not to be tested.

In fact, the spanking may not be necessary. It is of utmost importance that the punishment be immediate. Obviously, there are a plethora of other ways to instill an understanding of what is good or bad behavior. We often make subconscious assumptions about what a child understands, especially as the become teenagers. The child is small, weak, clumsy and hopelessly ignorant.

They see the parent as gigantic, strong, highly skilled and inconceivably knowledgeable. Maybe not in those words though. You may as well be an alien. And finally, when they become an adult and begin to leave their parents, they are left with warped memories link how amazing or terrible their parents were.

And by the time they become a parent themselves, their knowledge of what childhood was like is condensed into a handful of highly formative and often distorted memories. It becomes more evident as their age climbs into the double digits. But do they? The question is rhetorical. You cannot stop children from making any bad decisions. Which is why the truth of their If she misbehaves we spank her imperfect humanity can hit a kid hard. It shatters their world view and causes them to question the validity of the way they were raised.

This, in my opinion, is the most difficult part of being a parent and a child. Both parties needing to recognize their fallibility but also still trying to live up to certain expectations of one another? But the truth is, that would actually be a wonderful system. At least it would mean discussions were being had and opposing viewpoints were being considered. Most family units are actually more like a dictatorship, monarchy or even sharia law — where power of If she misbehaves we spank her is uneven, discussions are frequently denied and eventual rebellion or secession is the most likely outcome.

My final point is this — honest discussion is the most important thing If she misbehaves we spank her any family. Speech and empathy are a human feature that greatly separates us from animals, but often go underutilized. Any guidance you have for that, Deb? Unfortunately, it is logically impossible to smack a child and leave them feeling loved and respected.

The very nature of this act is demeaning, humiliating and confusing If she misbehaves we spank her a child. This is why parents, such as yourself, that spank, must then explain to your child why you spanked and that you did it because you love them. Unfortunately, this message is not directly translated to a child, most will misinterpret the act. There are SO MANY more If she misbehaves we spank her to effectively discipline your child that make spanking obsolete, unnecessary, and mediocre as a discipline more info. I am here to teach you MUCH more effective ways to discipline.

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Hi, I If she misbehaves we spank her your article very helpful. Thank you. Also, thanks for this outlet. We have five children. Today I spanked two of them. Today I walked away from a volatile situation to decide what I would do. I thought to spank them; and made the decision to carry it out. Check this out just remember it being almost comical.

Unfortunately I am not laughing tonight. In fact, I feel like an awful father. One of the children looked at me with a look that crushed me. It was easy to tell them what they did wrong. What was difficult was to explain or justify that what I did was right. I felt like a connection was broken. Like something had been lost. There was confusion on both ends. I found my self potentially over compensating during bed time by producing an enormous amount of love.

They were both receptive and seemed to be ok. The risk of affecting their self-esteem, or causing them to be afraid of a possible outcome with respect to me is just something I am not willing to risk. I want them to always feel safe and open. I have read a If she misbehaves we spank her peer-reviewed articles about spanking since the event today.

I want to go wake them up and apologize for my poor decision. Thank you, Michael. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt analysis of your experience with spanking your kids. I think you are a hero and I applaud you for your search, both inward AND outward. One of the natural out comes of the 8-Week Positive Parenting Class is that parents no longer spank or yell at their kids. The objective is to learn ways to discipline that build respect and trust while at the same time correcting their misbehavior.

This is not letting them get away with anything! I would welcome you to class and very much look forward to working with you. If you have any more questions, feel free to Https://romantic.katcr.press/pub5346-vidabynix.php me at debbie positiveparenting.

That definitely can be confusing for them. After its over we love in each other and its ok. I just wanted to say my piece and Im in no way If she misbehaves we spank her to tell you that how to be a parent. Ever If she misbehaves we spank her I can remember my parents use to take off my clothes and my underwear and whip my bare bottom and vulva with a belt.

The stinging welts If she misbehaves we spank her bruises it left were just awful. Are you kidding me right now?? My parents spanked me as a child and guess what it did… It made If she misbehaves we spank her respect authority.

I now have a 1 year old son and will raise him the same way my parents raised me. I completely agree with Brian, Larry and Jess and anyone else who truly understand the power of a good spanking. My girl is also one and is the absolute last person on Earth i would ever hit.

Millions of years spanking worked. Children were raised knowing not to cross the line. There were no school shootings, teen pregnancy was almost non existent, drugs…. Yup, all of that crap above is what caused our kids to be in the shape we now find ourselves.

Congratulations ….

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I completely agree, these parents nowadays are out of touch with reality. I knew kids who never got spankings growing up, and everybody hated them. They were snobs and never thought before they spoke. One of those kids shot and killed a classmate of ours, and he came from a good home. So rethink your outlook on this matter. Got to agree with Joann. Spanking, in certain situations, to a certain extent, is absolutely necessary.

I feel as a If she misbehaves we spank her, you need to know what to pull out of your tool box and when. I was never spanked as a kid. That is because there was never a need to. I was a quiet and well-behaved child. My siblings, on the other hand, were not and they If she misbehaves we spank her spanked.

So far my siblings and I are some of the kindest and most gentle people you would ever want to meet.

Sune Lionexxx Watch Video Kasrats Video. What happens, though, is that children who are spanked may learn to obey an authority figure, but not necessarily to develop an internal sense of right and wrong. They may learn to be obedient, but not necessarily to take responsibility for their actions. After all, they only get spanked if they get caught. Many children who are spanked just learn not to get caught! In addition, teaching children to be obedient to authority figures can be dangerous in today's society. Many people pose as authority figures in order to take advantage of children. Effective discipline teaches children that there are logically related consequences for ALL misbehavior, whether there is an authority figure present or not. In choosing a "punishment", parents should make sure it is logically linked to the misbehavior because it's this logical relationship which teaches responsibility. As we said last month, children are faced with tough decisions in today's society. These decisions require the child to have an internal sense of right and wrong, to be able to make responsible choices without relying on an authority figure. The problem with spanking is that the child can't learn to be responsible because there's no logical relationship between the spanking and the misbehavior, it's simply an arbitrary form of retaliation on the part of the parent. The final reason that we should substitute another form of discipline for spanking is that it teaches our children a very negative way to handle anger and problems. Last Updated: Jan 1, All Rights Reserved. Follow Us On. Should I spank my child? Spanking may seem like a direct and effective way to do that, but it delivers other messages you don't want to send: Spanking teaches your child to fear you -- not to listen to you or respect you. He may also be humiliated and resentful, and retaliate by being uncooperative. The result: You'll be less able to reason with and set effective limits for your child. Spanking teaches your child that when he make mistakes, you'll punish him rather than give sympathetic guidance. It erodes trust and disrupts the bond between you and your child that will allow him to be confident and flourish. Might makes right. If you spank, your child may learn that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems. Not surprisingly, perhaps, studies show that kids who are spanked are more likely to hit and fight with other children. Studies also show that children who are hit are more likely to become violent adults. Poor self-esteem. Many studies have shown that hitting your child can hurt more than his body: It can injure his sense of self. He may reason that if he weren't such a bad boy, he wouldn't get hit. Studies by the late psychologist Irwin Hyman and colleagues at Temple University have shown that regardless of how nurturing a family is, spanking always lowers self-esteem. Spanking can be physically dangerous, especially if you hit harder than you intended. Sometimes spanking can bruise a child, leave hematomas blood blisters , or injure soft tissue; some kids have even been hospitalized because of it. But if I was spanked and I'm okay, why shouldn't I spank my kids? But what's the harm in a little smack? What if I just shake my child instead? Is spanking still widespread? But wait: Many parents think so, but most specialists would say there is little evidence to support such claims. For example, spanking perceived by the child as parental aggression as opposed to nonaggressive limit setting may be associated with subsequent aggressive behavior by the child. Spanking can lead to child aggression. Greg westfall , CC BY. And, to be sure, some parents have argued that it is the misbehavior of children that leads to spanking — not the reverse. My parents, if they said no they said no and that was that, there was no argument. As a child who was spanked, I can say that yes, it taught me to how behave around adults and authority figures. And what did I actually learn from spankings? One may argue that if parents spank their kid, they must be calm about it, but hitting anything is always derived from anger or frustration. In conclusion, I can honestly say that if you truly want your child to respect you, as a parent or guardian, there are many other alternatives. I strongly agree with the alternatives in this article and wish that they had been present in my own household. While learning an actual lesson, your child will also become a more confident and loving person. The thing is you want your child to act like a grown up. Spanking is to get your child to do what you want them to do, and when they grow up they are just going to be bossed around by everyone else. I am nearly 30 and have no relationship with my parents. I came to this page seeking an alternative to time outs, but after reading some of the reviews I wanted to stick my story out there. Why listen to a parent when you know you can disobey and just have to do a little work. You do everything in your power to be a good kid. I think those who are against spanking completely misunderstand what spanking is. There is a very big difference between spanking a child and striking a child out of frustration or anger. The latter is dead wrong as far as I am concerned. I would never even think about spanking my child while I am angry or frustrated. The only time I have spanked is for direct defiance, not for non-defiant behaviour. Spanking is always done in private as the goal is not to embarrass the child and the goal is reconciliation. The few spanings I have had to give my son ended with a sweet moment of understanding and reconciliation. I would also add that not every child should be spanked either. My daughter has never been spanked because quite frankly a look of disappointment has the exact same impact on her. And because of this if that disappointing look is needed than it is treated with the same gravity with which a spanking is treated. There is a difference between Permissive Parenting and not beating your child. I knew a girl raised in a permissive household and there are never any punishments, nothing is even taken away. If your child throws a temper tantrum, beating is not the solution, but threatening to take away their positive and to enforce a negative is key. Taking away from play time and locking them in a room with no toys and no tv will ensure this. If you happen to tell your child that he can have his friend over as long as no girls come over and he breaks that promise, you take away his positive and enforce a negative, simple! It sets them on the right path, although the child may not be physically effected, hildren who are spanked are more likely to develop psychological issues in the long run, and are more likely to become criminals. My 2 year old hits his cousin who is 18 months old. They are both well behaved kids but when the two of them get together, game over. His cousin is a girl and so when she hits him first, no one bats an eye. Nothing has helped, spanking or time-outs. His cousin also has a 9 month old baby sister and she always hits her too, and only gets sent to her room for a bit. I am so stressed out, we live with them so it is not like I have anywhere to go. Spanking him for hitting her only makes it worse.. Thank you in advance!! Good grief Brittany! A little swat is not beating. And you sound like an extremely violent person; saying someone should be burnt. I see a lot of over reaction from people claiming to know how to keep their cool. What a Hypocritical thing to say. I have 5 children VERY close together and to achieve a step above chaos a spanking here and there was done. I was spanked as a child and I too came from a large family 8. We are all grown, confident, well mannered, highly functioning adults and none of us are struggling in life. This is not to be confused with beating a child or spanking to hurt. Like another person on this thread, who I deem from my own personal experience is correct, light spankings early on can lead to children who NEVER need them during school age. My children too have been victimized by other peers at their school who are spoiled, undisciplined, entitled little brats…. My children go to a private school and there are many wealthy families whose children are just mean monsters and hurting kids feelings relentlessly. My husband was deployed immediately after we had our fifth child…. Try going to the grocery store with 5 kids under the age of five two to three times a week for the next ten years and tell me if constant reasoning with multiple toddlers is feasible. I to this day receive nothing but compliments about how well behaved my children are, while my sister on the other hand, who like many on this thread, will not spank her kids at all. The whole town knows what little terrors they are, as we live in a small town. NO ONE is willing to watch these kids. Please do not mistake parents who spank their children as a form of discipline with those who beat their children. My kids are a gift from God and it is my responsibility to raise respectful functioning children into adults. They are true angels. Please get educated Jess … corporal punishment is now banned in 53 countries … and guess what, many of those people thought like you, now they are seeing firsthand THEY were the stupid ones. So a slap in the hand of they hit someone with a forced time out having to drag them back is what ends up being affective. All this anti-spanking advice is for older kids. I spank and firmly believe spanking can be done properly. Basically he only gets spanked for deliberately doing something dangerous that he has been warned not to do and for clear acts of defiance and I lay out to him exactly what those acts are. For example he has sliding mirror glass closet doors in his room that came with the house when we bought it. When he gets angry he throws books and toys at them. I have removed all the books and hard toys from his room. That worked for a little while until he decided to start slamming them together. So I gave him many warnings that if he hit, slammed, or threw anything at the doors he would get a swat on the bum. So it took a few swats but now he leaves the doors alone. I swat him only on the bum with an open hand over his pants and firmly say NO! He gets a hug and we cuddle. My son is just one of those kids who will continue to push to see if the boundaries still hold. I will also say I never spank in front of others or yell at him when I do it. Since I started to spank I rarely yell. If I spank for something new it will be made abundantly clear before he receives a swat. I think this is good advice. I was raised with fear of being hit upside my head and on my bottom. I obeyed them not out of respect but afraid I would get spanked and hit for my mistakes. My parents made a big deal but it was never in a calm way. It always left me wanted to run away and not see that parent for a whole long time. I was always yelled at and sometimes ending with welts and swollen knees, legs, and bottoms. I wanted to hid and never let the world see my body ever again. My mum always cursed at me calling me names. She said she would send me to reform school juvenile. I was always afraid of abandonment whenever she said that. I was abandoned at about two weeks of age as the orphanage guessed. I was always thinking I probably misbehaved and that is why they left me in a basket. That goes the same with my parents now. I f you want too know more about me look about my experiences on http: How should I discipline my three year old twins when When I tell them to stop fighting with each other, and to stop throwing toys at each other? And how should I discipline them if I tell them no firmly and they start crying hysterically and throw tantrums. I know it only works for short term and causes more problems in the future. My biggest problem is asking them firmly does not work at all. Sometimes they just look at me and smile and continue doing what I told them not to do. It seems I have to yell to get them to stop it spank them. Please help! I went on a stress leave to handle my sons behavior, went went to a childrens behavior specialist who showed me appropriate responses non of it involved hitting, yelling or aggression. Spanking shows them you are bigger and you will do what I want because I tell you so, you did not give them the tools or show them the corrective behavior you wanted. Now your kid has the potential to go out and use this same tool to get what they want from others who are smaller than they are. My son is adhd has sensory disorders that cause him to have meltdowns, believe me ive had those days where ive wanted to spank the lights out of him, but that would be the easiest response from me, instead I read his body language and can see when he is overwhelmed or has had enough. Throwing toys was an issue as listed above, take the toy, say no thank you in a monotone voice hand it back to the offender and tell them without eye contact please give this to so and so or please place this in the bucket. Good CHoice! I totally understand your dilema, I am in the same boat. I came accross this article while searching for different alternatives to spanking. I want my kids to respect me. I have a two year old boy who does not listen at all, I tell him over and over to stop doing something and he just keeps on doing it, and honestly its gotten to a point where spanking him does not even work unless I scare the crap out of him and I hate myself after that. As for In the mind of Stephanie…. There are drug addicts who reform and are the best parents and there are kind-hearted Christians who end up drowning their kids in the bathtub. I am new to this site. I just signed up for the next class. My biggest issue that I need help with is with my 4 year old son. At home he is a loving caring kid. Three behaviors he does not do at home. I do not hit or spank my kids. I talk firmly and have them stand in the corner in silence when they are bad. How do I control a behavior that happens when I am not around? I am stress out lately and I am going to try these things to help. I notice that I spank out of anger. I am go in to do these things. Since when is spanking the same as beating the sht out of your children. Just because a parent hits their kid on the butt a few times when they act out of line doesnt mean they they will strangle them to death in the future. You have some serious issues. She says she is trying to help parents, so my guess is that she may work in another country, possibly 3rd world, where spanking is no longer an option. Regardless, I hope this is a place that parents can share their opinions, like you have, in a civil manner and without directly insulting a particular person. But our commonality is that we all love our kids and the children of the world and want what is best for them. I was spanked and my dad even made a paddle for me because I would laugh and run away no matter how bad it stung, I was not beaten or abused. I still love my parents, I do not steal, or do bad or wish more stress upon any soul. I remember being a monster as a kid, by nature. My little brothers were not spanked and are still terrors that often do not listen to my parents, I believe they will be fine though in the long run. A kid who has not been hit throughout there early life is less likely to tolerate being hit or being abusive themselves in adult life. This stuff really does shape our children in later life. Thankyou so much for this article. I came to this right after spanking my son. I felt so wrong. It makes me so frustrated and angry. I spanked him and like I said I felt no good at all. So I ran and got online to read this. It helped so much. I totally agree that spanking would have a negative effect on his self esteem and create ideas to hide his wrong doings- something I fear! I want him to trust me. How can he when I use violence with my hands that are made to protect him from harm. I feel so sad yet ready to change. Thanks again and again. This is very helpful advice for those good-minded parents seeking help for alternatives to spanking, so thanks! I feel so very sorry for them, having such an ignorant and abusive father, who has no clue about the mentality and development of children. And finally, Robert B, please get a clue regarding how kids end up incarcerated — it is, much more often, the child who WAS physically punished who ends up there! The issue of spanking is controversial all over the world, and has been for some time. In the U. I was spanked as a child, when deemed necessary, and yes, I have a propensity for violence if I feel threatened- however, that propensity did NOT come out of spanking, which was a uncommon-rare occurrence for me unlike my nephews but instead from my poor experiences with other children who were far more violent than me. Because violence is a part of human nature, and because social heirarchies are more visible to children than to us adults, believe it or not. What do seemingly invisible heirarchies have to do with using violence to solve problems? Now, heirarchies are mostly built on self esteem, as we know. On the flip side of that, the evidence presented proving that wrongful spanking is, in fact, wrong, is very high, and that there are few given reasons TO spank a child. But then, what are your other options? I think that resources filling in that gap are far too sparse in this country. Few things, or people for that matter, can seem to give you viable options for dealing with your child. This site is great, and has a lot of good tips, but it fails to tell you that every child is different, and that its ok to tailor this advice to fit your circumstances. For example, talking kindly but sternly- effective for some, but as previously seen, not effective for all. How you say something to your child is important- but so is What you tell them. Is it dangerous? Even telling them that they are disrupting you or your conversation- by telling them, for example, to stop yelling Because you are on the phone, you let them know in the future that being loud while someone is on the phone is rude. This sort of learning can be adapted to various other situations as well. This is about taking a different approach to dealing with a child. Again, no two children are the same. Alternative punishments are great. All you new parents looking for advice please take a minute to really think about all this before you end up being that parent on Isle 7 at United down on your knees eye level with your child begging him to please put back the candy or whatever, and to quit saying FU while smacking you in the face. The only way alternative discipline works is if you have the authority to enforce the discipline. We see it all day every day. These parents out in public with some 10 year old telling them what to buy, where to go, and what to eat. Like the broken window scenario. That is definitely something I would have my kids do, and they would do it because I have instilled the discipline in them already. I told myself, I would not be the mean mom or mean dad who will spank the heck out of my future child. I have a child now, 11 month actually. Let me tell you. I was spanked a lot, so much so, i do believe that I settled for a low paying job. That I was angry with my parents for the longest time. That I definitely rebelled against them. My brother is an angry person, he is really volatile. My sister became the black sheep of the family and experiences depression and went to jail a couple of times. In fact, I do believe they regret it now. Cause they see us as failures in life and that now they are trying to make up for it by being better parents. I learned to forgive my parents and I do see their hate love relationship. Same with my brother. When I was a child we get whoopins when we was bad. So as an adult I am aware of how this affects the child. My wife and I have raised 6 polite, confident, and well behaved kids that are pillars in the community, great grades, gone onto college except our youngest who is still in school , volunteer regularly by choice for causes that are important to them, are active in Church, et cetera. I am 42 years old and a first time parent. My 3 year old daughter threw a fit before bed. Twice we tried to calm her down and talk with her. My wife suggested I spank her since nothing was working and it was going on 10pm. So, i spanked her on the bottom. After four spanks, we again gave her an ultimatum of get into bed or another round of spankings. She climbed into bed and asked for hug and kiss. My wife let me get the first hug and kiss. She finally stayed down, but i feel awful. Sick of all the crybabies here. A parent needs to stay in control an the Child Needs to know that what mom or dad says , is Law. Your just gonna have kids disrespecting you as parents. Thinking they can do anything they want. I only smacked my daughters bottom , she was 3. Never had any reason to do again. Once your wife is calm and willing to talk, explain the consequences of her misbehavior, then carry them out. Do not over-explain why her behavior was wrong, it is enough for her to understand that she had misbehaved and punishment follows. When you have given her a serious spanking she will remember how painful and humiliating it was, how sore her bottom was. These painful memories will prevent her to repeat the offence better than the possible but uncertain rational acknowledgement that her behavior was wrong. Postponing punishment These tips works wonders for the times you are right there. But what if you come home tired, and she has deliberately disobeyed to do something she should have done at earlier? At that point, tell her she will be punished, but you are too tired at this moment. This lets her know that you have noticed the misbehavior, but you are not ready to do it at this moment. If there is time, you could always have her stand in the corner to think about her behavior, or write you an essay. If you tell her that she will be spanked, make sure you tell her when, if you are not able to do it at the moment. Let her know when it would be convenient for you, and then make sure you carry it out. If you threaten a spanking, but do not carry it out, it is the same as telling her she is not worthy of your attention. The misbehavior will certainly return, sometimes stronger than before. Results of effective misbehavior management of women You will be relieving your wifes stress by demonstrating you are there for her. By taking control, she knows she can depend on you and will not worry so much about other factors in which she cannot change. When you are consistent, you will also not have as much stress. The household will become calmer. Since she feels she will not have to go to such extremes to get your attention, you will not have to react to the stress as much. You will find you have more time to do more pleasurable things, and you will not be spending as much time arguing and hassling with her. Home will be more and more of a place you will like to return to after work. Both of you will be busy enough with your own jobs and responsibilities, you can lessen the tension and stress about the things which are your wifes duties. You will occupy your mind with things you, as a HoH should worry about. In addition, you have given your wife her own list of things in which she will busy herself worrying about, thus giving up on other worries she can do little or nothing about. Of course, in the end, you are responsible for her behavior, but by taking firm action when she digresses she will act more responsible to her duties..

There is no one size fits all parenting. Every one is different and some will require different things. Use your judgment. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, will ultimately become the people that they want to become.

Not every child is the same. He simply wriggles from my hand and returns to what he doing sometimes more intensely. However, I find that I get his attention with a whack on his hand or legs. Then later, when he calms down I try to explain simply why he was slapped.

If she misbehaves we spank her is three years old by the way and reasoning at this level is very close to impossible. I If she misbehaves we spank her not, If she misbehaves we spank her will not however apologize to anyone for this approach. While I do not intend to spank my child forever, but I do feel that it is necessary for toddlers with intense personalities— usually those with the inborn conviction that they are leaders.

Additionally, while I sympathize and empathize with the commentors who have had very negative experiences with article source I do not believe that you have developed emotional issues simply because you have been spanked- but because of the attitude with which you were spanked.

Is It OK To Spank A Misbehaving Child Once In A While?

Disciplining your child must be married to understanding. Calling children names, swearing at them, staying angry at them is wrong. If your child feels that the discipline was a strike on the love you possess for them then it will affect them negatively.

If you have had to beat your child do not do it simply because you are angry— do it with dignity. That is, do not continue being upset with your child after the punishment. That will help If she misbehaves we spank her child to understand that you are not upset at them but at the misdemeanor. In discipline we must remember it is not about destroying will but establishing clear lines between right and wrong. Not withstanding that not it is not a requirement to spank for evrything, Before you spank your child think about whether it is a lesson in right and wrong or simply about getting your way.

Stupid or not stupid, evil or not evil…regardless…. I have never seen any of these alternatives work. And although my sister does not spank her kids, she agrees that she and I suffered no ill effects from our punishments. And believe If she misbehaves we spank her, I had a lot, but never the same one twice.

Also, I had been lying about doing wrong far longer than I can remember getting spanked. Lying is normal for a child. This is great for step 1. But the next step i do is. Physical burden to give them time to think about their actions. Such as a 45sec to a 1 minute. Horse stance with arms out. Source puah ups or some sorta physical If she misbehaves we spank her. This strengthens them physically as well as. Expels some of that energy.

You cannot owes give in or time out. This teaches the. Young humans that you can be broken or will give up. This is why kids get trophies for nothing and end up spoiled. Remember raise and adult who If she misbehaves we spank her accept winning and losing. The world is harsh and so is war. Stopbaby and raise adults so what ever the future holds you know your children will be of sound mind, body and soul. Or raise a child the rest of your life, im sure for some thats fine too and you are whats awrong with this planet.

You only have to see the way primates behave — its a natural response. Obviously not a full blown whack but a firm tap surely is OK. If she misbehaves we spank her a parent I feel far worse continue reading the kid does — you can only give so many warnings that are totally ignored.

Thanks for helping us all gain perspective and an alternative— really appreciate this — good read thank you. I agree with the author.

Rihanna Pornz Watch Video Shemale telefoonsex. Do not try to stop the behavior by only making an appeal to reason, in most cases feminine misbehavior stem from emotions, therefore overtly reasoning with her alone wont prevent unwanted behavior. Women who express defiance behavior are usually seeking control. Remain calm. If you get upset, she wins. Be consistent. Be prepared to follow through the first time. I f you find yourself getting dragged into an argument, remember to control yourself first. I need to calm down before this goes any further. I am going to deal with me, and then Ill come back and deal with you. Minimizing the effects of verbal aggression by not overreacting. This is difficult. It helps to talk with your spouse during a calm moment and explain the consequences of put-downs and how words can hurt others feelings. Intervene quickly to stop verbal aggression. You may need to apply a series of swats to her backside to make her regain control over herself. If she is only a little bit out of control a few stinging spanks to her clothed bottom should do the trick, but do not hesitate to bare her buttocks for the swats if she really is putting up a fuss. You need to be a good example by maintaining your own emotional self-control. Once your wife is calm and willing to talk, explain the consequences of her misbehavior, then carry them out. Do not over-explain why her behavior was wrong, it is enough for her to understand that she had misbehaved and punishment follows. When you have given her a serious spanking she will remember how painful and humiliating it was, how sore her bottom was. These painful memories will prevent her to repeat the offence better than the possible but uncertain rational acknowledgement that her behavior was wrong. Postponing punishment These tips works wonders for the times you are right there. But what if you come home tired, and she has deliberately disobeyed to do something she should have done at earlier? At that point, tell her she will be punished, but you are too tired at this moment. This lets her know that you have noticed the misbehavior, but you are not ready to do it at this moment. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt analysis of your experience with spanking your kids. I think you are a hero and I applaud you for your search, both inward AND outward. One of the natural out comes of the 8-Week Positive Parenting Class is that parents no longer spank or yell at their kids. The objective is to learn ways to discipline that build respect and trust while at the same time correcting their misbehavior. This is not letting them get away with anything! I would welcome you to class and very much look forward to working with you. If you have any more questions, feel free to email me at debbie positiveparenting. That definitely can be confusing for them. After its over we love in each other and its ok. I just wanted to say my piece and Im in no way trying to tell you that how to be a parent. Ever since I can remember my parents use to take off my clothes and my underwear and whip my bare bottom and vulva with a belt. The stinging welts and bruises it left were just awful. Are you kidding me right now?? My parents spanked me as a child and guess what it did… It made me respect authority. I now have a 1 year old son and will raise him the same way my parents raised me. I completely agree with Brian, Larry and Jess and anyone else who truly understand the power of a good spanking. My girl is also one and is the absolute last person on Earth i would ever hit. Millions of years spanking worked. Children were raised knowing not to cross the line. There were no school shootings, teen pregnancy was almost non existent, drugs…. Yup, all of that crap above is what caused our kids to be in the shape we now find ourselves. Congratulations …. I completely agree, these parents nowadays are out of touch with reality. I knew kids who never got spankings growing up, and everybody hated them. They were snobs and never thought before they spoke. One of those kids shot and killed a classmate of ours, and he came from a good home. So rethink your outlook on this matter.. Got to agree with Joann. Spanking, in certain situations, to a certain extent, is absolutely necessary. I feel as a parent, you need to know what to pull out of your tool box and when. I was never spanked as a kid. That is because there was never a need to. I was a quiet and well-behaved child. My siblings, on the other hand, were not and they were spanked. So far my siblings and I are some of the kindest and most gentle people you would ever want to meet. There is no one size fits all parenting. Every one is different and some will require different things. Use your judgment. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, will ultimately become the people that they want to become. Not every child is the same. He simply wriggles from my hand and returns to what he doing sometimes more intensely. However, I find that I get his attention with a whack on his hand or legs. Then later, when he calms down I try to explain simply why he was slapped. He is three years old by the way and reasoning at this level is very close to impossible. I do not, and will not however apologize to anyone for this approach. While I do not intend to spank my child forever, but I do feel that it is necessary for toddlers with intense personalities— usually those with the inborn conviction that they are leaders. Additionally, while I sympathize and empathize with the commentors who have had very negative experiences with spanking- I do not believe that you have developed emotional issues simply because you have been spanked- but because of the attitude with which you were spanked. Disciplining your child must be married to understanding. Calling children names, swearing at them, staying angry at them is wrong. If your child feels that the discipline was a strike on the love you possess for them then it will affect them negatively. If you have had to beat your child do not do it simply because you are angry— do it with dignity. That is, do not continue being upset with your child after the punishment. That will help your child to understand that you are not upset at them but at the misdemeanor. In discipline we must remember it is not about destroying will but establishing clear lines between right and wrong. Not withstanding that not it is not a requirement to spank for evrything, Before you spank your child think about whether it is a lesson in right and wrong or simply about getting your way. Stupid or not stupid, evil or not evil…regardless…. I have never seen any of these alternatives work. And although my sister does not spank her kids, she agrees that she and I suffered no ill effects from our punishments. And believe me, I had a lot, but never the same one twice. Also, I had been lying about doing wrong far longer than I can remember getting spanked. Lying is normal for a child. This is great for step 1. But the next step i do is. Physical burden to give them time to think about their actions. Such as a 45sec to a 1 minute. Horse stance with arms out. Or puah ups or some sorta physical activity. This strengthens them physically as well as. Expels some of that energy. You cannot owes give in or time out. This teaches the. Young humans that you can be broken or will give up. This is why kids get trophies for nothing and end up spoiled. Remember raise and adult who can accept winning and losing. The world is harsh and so is war. Stopbaby and raise adults so what ever the future holds you know your children will be of sound mind, body and soul. Or raise a child the rest of your life, im sure for some thats fine too and you are whats awrong with this planet. You only have to see the way primates behave — its a natural response. Obviously not a full blown whack but a firm tap surely is OK. As a parent I feel far worse than the kid does — you can only give so many warnings that are totally ignored. Thanks for helping us all gain perspective and an alternative— really appreciate this — good read thank you. I agree with the author. The research clearly says that permissive and negligent parenting raises spoiled children, who do not respond to rules. Good job on this article! Wow, so many different opinions to this topic and I agree with both sides, spanking vs positive parenting. I would love to get advice because I really am on the edge and getting desperate… I have an 8 year old kid who is well behaved for the most part, he is noble, not a bully, intelligent, and in fact we found out he was being bullied at school. The problem is that he does not like when people make fun of him and I do not blame him, who would like that. Last time he spat at my sister in law face and I felt so embarrassed but also angry at my wife as she was the one starting the whole thing. Anyway, my wife decided it was time for a spank and she did it. I could hear how my son was being defiant asking her, how many times was she going to hit him with the belt, then after the whipping he asked if that was all. She then hit him harder and at that point I could hear him start to cry in pain. How do you deal with that? A kid who is not afraid of spanking? I know for the most part I am to blame as I have punished him in the past but then let him go off the punishment. The best way to teach your child is to take something off them for a week that they love doing, it stops that repetitive task because the child feels like they have nothing to do they think about what they have done wrong and find an alternative solution to keep them selves occupied with their time, however at other times there will be scenarios where a good smack is needed but should be avoided, it all depends on the scenario. A child may develop the attitude that they are untouchable and become even more disruptive without tough love or a firm voice, for example a brother might become abusive to his sister, you can talk to him in any tone you like take any action you want with no results until of course the correct action was taken to rectify that by a good firm smack. Not all children respond the same way inherited traits can also be a problem. For parents who do choose to spank, the proper philosophy and approach is extremely important. Too begin with, as with all forms of correction, the concepts of punishment and discipline are absolute opposites. On the other hand, discipline is motivated by love for the child, focuses on the future, and results in obedience and feelings of security. A child should always receive a clear warning before any offense that might merit a spanking and understand why they are receiving this disciplinary action. The spanking should be lovingly administered in a clear and consistent manner. Afterward, the lesson should be gently reiterated so that the child understands and learns from this teachable experience. So spanking, when used judiciously, appropriately, and in combination with other disciplinary techniques, can be a helpful part of training our children. Hi, I have a month old son who is currently into throwing things. Everything that gets into his hands. And he often does this out of frustration. We tried to tell him numerous times that it is not good to throw things away. Last night, he did it again and my husband slapped his hand, hard enough to make him cry. I feel bad seeing him cry and I had to hold myself back not to reach out to him and just hug him. How do you combat this kind of behavior? Real live ass whooping worked for me. The science is flawed and one sided. My mom had 4 kids and we all got beat. Those beatings produced an ICU nurse, a teacher of the year, a law professor, and a trauma surgeon. Her sister had 3 kids who got no beatings and she had 7 grand kids before her oldest child was Maybe it goes back to what we learned from white slave owners. Deb, you have a very civilized way of expressing your excellent insights that I very much admire. I just want to put this out there. It would be reportable, meaning to say, any physician, teacher etc. They also defy logic. So I been reading a lot of articles, reading all the comments here, listening to a lot of comedian standups, and arguments, on BOTH sides of the issue: They will become self-loathing, violent, and tolerant of dishing abuse, and possibly in jail. A child like an adult will have a million factors in their lives surrounding them, genetically, environmentally, socially. And what that means is everyone is gonna turn out in random ways no matter what happens to them. Spanking works if, and ONLY if, the hitting comes rarely enough, and just badly enough to be of a shock to the child, but not so earth shatteringly painful or harsh and common they become numbed to it. This will result in neuroses, or just even worse rule breaking anyway. But what do you do with a brat who never listens to the soft approaches? Ah, there is the rub. You have to find substitution of a harsh kind of punishment that is just as shocking, but still will result in a lack of resentment. And the problem is…. Sometimes a kid is just going to resent you and rules period. No matter how tough, how nice, how cruel, how understanding the parent is. People are built differently, with all sorts of issues, mental illness, boundaries, and obstacles. The parents of broken kids might not always be broken themselves, but more often then not, the inverse is actually true: The only and I mean ONLY rational time I see someone needing to hit and there is literally no other method, is if the child is about to start doing something life threatening to themselves or another child, and there is virtually no hope of stopping the child or catching their attention in any other way. If the kid is playing with a knife, or about to touch a hot stove, and yelling and threats and distractions will not be fast enough or have no effect YOU MUST intervene as fast as possible to prevent harm and drive the signal home. Hitting is like using a battering ram to open an unlocked front door. You do not usually NEED to hit, and the consequences of having hit the child, like that battering ram, will only result in further damage. The problem is, too many parents have just not enough energy to do other forms of discipline, or suffer mental illness themselves, or at worst, get a sick thrill out of control and causing abusive harm. That child will grow to know this, and will NOT forget easily. Spanking is NOT evil and if done right is certainly not abusive. Likewise, NOT spanking your kid is not wrong or coddling. What you have to understand is that as a parent, you need to figure out if spanking or not is going to best set your child on the straight and narrow. If a simple spanking sets them right, then do it. Think of other solutions. What else can you do to rectify the issue. People saying that spanking hurt them in the long run and made them fearful, while others were the opposite. Because I believe the ones who were spanked and came out just fine, had the type of parents who did right by their kids. They immediately went to spanking and likely used it in anger and innapropriately. That is abuse. Bottom line? And this harmed their kid in the end. I was spanked and I love both my parents dearly and respect them. My sisters were also spanked and they are the same way. My cousins were spanked. The youngest is very smart, has maintained a 4. My ex boyfriend was never spanked and turned out to be very entitled, mysoginistic and crude not to mention depends on his mom to get by at damn near 30, has been to jail for assault. My friends younger brother was never spanked and at 16, still has the mentality of an 8 year old. Throwing stuff at people, pouring drinks on them, ripping off their hats, cursing and being generally disrespectful. But then I have my nephew who maybe got spanked about 2 times in his life and he too is happy, healthy and getting married to his girlfriend of four years, going to a college of his choice and loves his parents. There are people from all walks of life who benefit in different ways. As the parent you need to find out what is going to best work for your child. Parenting is a fine line between fear and respect. If your child does not fear the consequences of their actions then they will have no respect for you. Otherwise they do not understand fear and pain. And end up becoming school shooters and degenerates. Savanna…the research clearly shows the link between corporal punishment and violence. I would wager that ALL the school shooters had experienced spankings, most likely severe, but maybe not. I doubt even a single one grew up without corporal punishment. I was spanked as a kid, and as a person with autism, it seemed much more traumatizing. Sure, I am a respectful person to this day, but also because I was fearful too after spankings. There was one in particular from my dad that was more than others combined and even as an adult to this day, it just makes me upset. And of course, my parents were spanking me when they were mad. I felt hated. When I got older than 9, they stopped and used grounding more as a punishment. I am grown now and have no kids. My mind tends to think of things that are just not normal. Sometimes when my feelings were hurt from yelling or spanking, I felt more like hurting myself as well to add to the pain that was there. Those were often my feelings. Like they feel useless and stupid. I have a niece and 2 nephews to this day. The older nephew has been spanked before too and he once told me that he was so mad at his parents, he wanted to punish them for doing it. He was only 4 or so. But I get he was just mad. For years children got whooped at home and at school. First of all this says basically only do 3 things, leave, be calm and take time for yourself…. Thirdly i was a child that was spanked, i wasnt beaten, but if i did something that was wrong, i got spanked, and you know what? I deserved it, and looking back now, it taught me one valuable lesson. And that is whether you like the rules or not, they are there in place to be followed, and if you do not follow said rules there are consequences. Consequences that you will not like, consequences that hurt. Kept me in line than and it has taught me in the long run to think about my actions before i do anything that may cause discourse. All negotiating does is teach them that your rules, they can be bent, and no matter what that child does, you are not in charge, that child is in charge. You have to be calm whenever punishment is given. But when i messed up, i knew it and i faced my punishment like i knew i had too. I have tried the 9 things instead of spanking and none of them work with my children. Reasoning does not work and they can care less about alternatives. Giving choices does not work because the only choice they want is theirs. For example, my child was playing with her food; so, I took her away from it when she would not stop and told her she could return to eat when she decided she would not play with her food. She never wanted to return to eat; even though, she had not eaten in 5 hours. Allow that uncomfortable feeling to be your guide in choosing an alternative form of discipline. Hitting a child severely damages a child's self-esteem. A child or adult for that matter who is hit on a regular basis begins to feel that something is essentially wrong with him. He must be "bad" inside to have evoked this kind of disrespect. This feeling of being bad, contrary to many adult's expectations, does not work in our parental favor. Children who feel as though there is something wrong with them will eventually do wrong things on purpose. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. They aren't motivated to "be good" because deep inside they feel as though they're "bad. In other words, it must send the message to the child that "I don't like what you did, but I still love you. Hitting makes him feel unlovable, no matter what things you say to the contrary. And if a child does somehow reconcile that you are hitting him but still love him, he may very well begin to equate hitting with love itself. Thus, he may believe that in order to show love you must hit, and in order to feel loved you must be hit. America is slowly growing less supportive of spanking children. But a majority of Americans still support it. In a review of corporal punishment in the United States, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Toledo Michelle Knox noted a striking irony in the American attitude toward corporal punishment. In the United States, it is against the law to hit prisoners, criminals or other adults. Ironically, the only humans it is still legal to hit are the most vulnerable members of our society — those we are charged to protect — children. What makes parents spank kids? It can injure his sense of self. He may reason that if he weren't such a bad boy, he wouldn't get hit. Studies by the late psychologist Irwin Hyman and colleagues at Temple University have shown that regardless of how nurturing a family is, spanking always lowers self-esteem. Spanking can be physically dangerous, especially if you hit harder than you intended. Sometimes spanking can bruise a child, leave hematomas blood blisters , or injure soft tissue; some kids have even been hospitalized because of it. But if I was spanked and I'm okay, why shouldn't I spank my kids? But what's the harm in a little smack? What if I just shake my child instead? Is spanking still widespread? But isn't spanking effective? How can I avoid spanking my child? How can I get my toddler to behave without spanking? What can I do instead of spanking? Make your home safe. Child-proof your living space so your child won't get into things or places he shouldn't -- and you won't be overtaken by a sudden panic. Avoid direct clashes. If you order your child to stop throwing his food and he obstinately refuses, distract him instead. You can almost always find a diversion. From the earliest time that a child can begin to understand, it's important to teach morality. That is, the child should learn to do the right thing because it's right, not because he'll be punished if he doesn't do it. This can be done by explaining to the child why it's wrong to do something that may be hurtful to others. For instance, rather than saying, "If you hit me, I'll hit you back," try saying, "You shouldn't hit me because it hurts, and you know how it feels to be hurt. Teach children to avoid danger. Rather than spanking your child if he nears a dangerous spot like the fireplace , show him the fireplace and repeat his word for pain such as "owie". Soon your child will point, say "owie," and avoid the dangerous spot. Use your imagination. You're also bigger and stronger than your child you can use that to defuse a situation, rather than letting it escalate..

The research clearly says that permissive and negligent parenting raises spoiled children, who do not respond to rules. Good job on this article!

Wow, so many different opinions to this topic and I agree with both sides, spanking vs positive parenting.

Sexy dodge Watch Video mexican porntube. But what do you do with a brat who never listens to the soft approaches? Ah, there is the rub. You have to find substitution of a harsh kind of punishment that is just as shocking, but still will result in a lack of resentment. And the problem is…. Sometimes a kid is just going to resent you and rules period. No matter how tough, how nice, how cruel, how understanding the parent is. People are built differently, with all sorts of issues, mental illness, boundaries, and obstacles. The parents of broken kids might not always be broken themselves, but more often then not, the inverse is actually true: The only and I mean ONLY rational time I see someone needing to hit and there is literally no other method, is if the child is about to start doing something life threatening to themselves or another child, and there is virtually no hope of stopping the child or catching their attention in any other way. If the kid is playing with a knife, or about to touch a hot stove, and yelling and threats and distractions will not be fast enough or have no effect YOU MUST intervene as fast as possible to prevent harm and drive the signal home. Hitting is like using a battering ram to open an unlocked front door. You do not usually NEED to hit, and the consequences of having hit the child, like that battering ram, will only result in further damage. The problem is, too many parents have just not enough energy to do other forms of discipline, or suffer mental illness themselves, or at worst, get a sick thrill out of control and causing abusive harm. That child will grow to know this, and will NOT forget easily. Spanking is NOT evil and if done right is certainly not abusive. Likewise, NOT spanking your kid is not wrong or coddling. What you have to understand is that as a parent, you need to figure out if spanking or not is going to best set your child on the straight and narrow. If a simple spanking sets them right, then do it. Think of other solutions. What else can you do to rectify the issue. People saying that spanking hurt them in the long run and made them fearful, while others were the opposite. Because I believe the ones who were spanked and came out just fine, had the type of parents who did right by their kids. They immediately went to spanking and likely used it in anger and innapropriately. That is abuse. Bottom line? And this harmed their kid in the end. I was spanked and I love both my parents dearly and respect them. My sisters were also spanked and they are the same way. My cousins were spanked. The youngest is very smart, has maintained a 4. My ex boyfriend was never spanked and turned out to be very entitled, mysoginistic and crude not to mention depends on his mom to get by at damn near 30, has been to jail for assault. My friends younger brother was never spanked and at 16, still has the mentality of an 8 year old. Throwing stuff at people, pouring drinks on them, ripping off their hats, cursing and being generally disrespectful. But then I have my nephew who maybe got spanked about 2 times in his life and he too is happy, healthy and getting married to his girlfriend of four years, going to a college of his choice and loves his parents. There are people from all walks of life who benefit in different ways. As the parent you need to find out what is going to best work for your child. Parenting is a fine line between fear and respect. If your child does not fear the consequences of their actions then they will have no respect for you. Otherwise they do not understand fear and pain. And end up becoming school shooters and degenerates. Savanna…the research clearly shows the link between corporal punishment and violence. I would wager that ALL the school shooters had experienced spankings, most likely severe, but maybe not. I doubt even a single one grew up without corporal punishment. I was spanked as a kid, and as a person with autism, it seemed much more traumatizing. Sure, I am a respectful person to this day, but also because I was fearful too after spankings. There was one in particular from my dad that was more than others combined and even as an adult to this day, it just makes me upset. And of course, my parents were spanking me when they were mad. I felt hated. When I got older than 9, they stopped and used grounding more as a punishment. I am grown now and have no kids. My mind tends to think of things that are just not normal. Sometimes when my feelings were hurt from yelling or spanking, I felt more like hurting myself as well to add to the pain that was there. Those were often my feelings. Like they feel useless and stupid. I have a niece and 2 nephews to this day. The older nephew has been spanked before too and he once told me that he was so mad at his parents, he wanted to punish them for doing it. He was only 4 or so. But I get he was just mad. For years children got whooped at home and at school. First of all this says basically only do 3 things, leave, be calm and take time for yourself…. Thirdly i was a child that was spanked, i wasnt beaten, but if i did something that was wrong, i got spanked, and you know what? I deserved it, and looking back now, it taught me one valuable lesson. And that is whether you like the rules or not, they are there in place to be followed, and if you do not follow said rules there are consequences. Consequences that you will not like, consequences that hurt. Kept me in line than and it has taught me in the long run to think about my actions before i do anything that may cause discourse. All negotiating does is teach them that your rules, they can be bent, and no matter what that child does, you are not in charge, that child is in charge. You have to be calm whenever punishment is given. But when i messed up, i knew it and i faced my punishment like i knew i had too. I have tried the 9 things instead of spanking and none of them work with my children. Reasoning does not work and they can care less about alternatives. Giving choices does not work because the only choice they want is theirs. For example, my child was playing with her food; so, I took her away from it when she would not stop and told her she could return to eat when she decided she would not play with her food. She never wanted to return to eat; even though, she had not eaten in 5 hours. The next time she was put at the table to eat she went right back to playing with her food. Sometimes your 9 alternatives just do not work for some children. So, when you have tried everything except spanking and it does not work then what is next. His comment was not nearly as judgmental as hers. You would do well to not tell people not to judge simply for stating their opinion while allowing others who agree with you in yours to simply go unchecked. Do you see the hypocrisy here? Im dealing with a child with adhd and her fatger abandoned her and she is lashing out and takong,her anger out on me she has her good days where she acts right and behaces and respects me but then she has her days where its basically she doesnt respect or mind me at all i m her step father and she will turn her head when I go to give her a hug push me off and try to hit me and I havnt spanked her or done anything what so ever to make her act this way. She does things she know shes not sopposed to do just out of spite. And her mother abandoned her for 2 years of her life and she has told me she feels like I am taking her mother from her im at wits end with this any advice.? Her acting this way i have done everything possible to be the best father to her I can be i play with her reward her and do father and daughter things with her. Any advice would help for sure. I was raised by my grandparents and was a product of several broken homes with parental abandonment issues. I am teaching him that all I care about is being right. He is 11 now and I am afraid that it is too late for me to make up for my mistakes. I have found that when I rely on my faith and calmly remove myself from the situation for two minutes, I am better at decision making and teaching my kids to be a better decision maker and leader. Your situation is admirable and raising an adopted child is super challenging. Talk about her potential in life for all of the good she can do for herself, community and eventually as a mother. Talk about integrity and paint a clear picture of two paths in life that she can snooze everyday as she wakes up. The biggest message is that every day is a new day and you can pick the path of kindness, trust, love and leadership even at her age. Talk to her about her feelings as well. Also with proper diet and exercise if find that I am better balanced. So maybe getting outside with her and getting her involved in a individual sport like swimming and then a team sport will help her build her confidence. Hope this helps!! I agree with many of the initial comments in the original post but also agree with some of the respondents. Spanking is allowed by parents in all 50 states for a reason. And because spanking is typically private and done at home there are no reliable or definitive studies on the matter — only opinions and conjecture. You should never leave a mark or hurt your child, or beat them, ever. My wife and I have found a combination of a quick snack on skin combined with a time out is appropriate and effective in some contexts. There is a way to remain calm, spank to make a more definitive point and combine that with a time out and explanation to your child. Finally, genetics play a role in temperament and this has been proven definitively so some kids will naturally be more well-mannered and need less discipline and some kids are more prone to outbursts even if the exact same disciplinary philosophies are used. Love your kids — show them empathy and compassion, and equally discipline them with positive intent so that they ultimately grow up to be good people who show love and compassion to others. Because most of the time nothing works with him. All that you teach your kid is that physical violence is the response to problems. Because children emulate their parents, and learn how to deal with their problems by observing you. And after awhile it becomes ineffective, because children get used to being hit and may just laugh through it or wait until you let them go so that they can go right back to their bratty behavior. Hitting your child is the easy way out. It is popular because other forms of discipline take patience and problem-solving skills, while hitting is cathartic for the parent and quick. But it is NOT effective. Those saying it is the effective option, are ignoring evidence of research. And those who are spanked grow up to hit their own children. Is it abuse? The intent is to cause humiliation and pain so that the child will fear the repercussions of their actions and not act out again in the future. Discipline can be meted out without inflicting abuse on the child. Yes it takes more thought than taking your belt off or bending your child over your knee, and that is why most will just spank instead when they are frustrated. It does not matter how many years people have been doing it. People do it because their parents did it, not because it is the holy grail of child-raising. Your email address will not be published. Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Where do I start? Jess on September 22, at 3: Deborah Godfrey on September 22, at 5: Jess, Thank you so much for your comment. Happy Parenting! Megan on September 18, at 6: Keir on February 18, at 7: Laura on October 27, at Gal on November 4, at Jeff on December 3, at 2: Deborah Godfrey on December 14, at 3: Regards, Debbie. John on December 15, at 9: Brittany on January 18, at 8: You are a horrible person. Ari on January 21, at 4: Zoe on March 17, at 4: Larry on April 21, at 1: Deborah Godfrey on April 21, at 4: Warm regards and thank you for your contribution to this topic, Debbie. Shauna on May 3, at 4: Sarah on June 28, at 9: Gavin on July 16, at 7: Anonymous on September 10, at Ben on October 21, at 6: Lacie on December 6, at Brian on December 7, at 2: Annabelle on December 17, at 3: Joyce on September 12, at 2: Lis on January 10, at 8: Sam Cat on May 23, at 9: Joseph J Mielcarek on February 9, at 9: Ayla on March 27, at Hadassah on October 17, at 4: Star on March 7, at 6: Marie on June 24, at 1: Rochelle on March 20, at 3: Fathema qadeer on April 16, at Cari on May 1, at 4: Thanks Reply. Robert Slansky on April 10, at 6: Deborah Godfrey on April 10, at 9: Brett on August 3, at Ashley on August 12, at 2: Christinee on August 16, at 2: Shadow on September 23, at 7: EDT on November 11, at New mama on November 15, at 3: Spanking is the answer guys. Tiffany on December 7, at 1: Chris Hagen on December 13, at 7: Greg on December 15, at 4: TeraLie on December 18, at Its Suppose to affect the child! Lynn on December 22, at 6: God bless all the moms and dads seeking to grow as our kids grow Reply. Liz on January 1, at 5: Keenan White on January 28, at 3: Sidney S. Keenan White on January 28, at 9: Deborah Godfrey on March 10, at 1: Mark on February 17, at 9: Hi Mark, I am sure that I could coach you with many options for whatever disobedience that you are experiencing with your son. Anthony on December 25, at 1: Mark said he believes in Spanking Deborah. Tia on February 25, at 5: Deborah Godfrey on March 9, at Karisa on March 8, at 3: Deborah Godfrey on March 9, at 5: Kenneth on March 12, at 5: Susan on March 28, at 2: Great article! Beezil on March 28, at 4: Deborah Godfrey on April 19, at 7: I wish you good luck! Shawn, Thank you for sharing your perspective! Leslye on April 28, at 1: Paul on May 24, at 7: What a mug Reply. She may be trying to get you to give in or change your mind. When she is disobedient, it may be that she is not internally or externally motivated to do what you want her to do. She may be very motivated to do something else, like ignore you. This can lead to defiance. She who is defiant is typically after control or power. She either does not want to do what you ask or she wants to do what you do not permit. She, who exhibits aggressive behavior is often expressing anger, frustration, or revenge. She may be hurt because she did not get their way or because she believes that you have done something against her. Take action. Ignore annoying behaviors. This does not mean to ignore the problem. The correct action is to ignore the whining or teasing. Do not give in to demands. Tantrums need an audience. It is fine to say, I am ignoring you. It is also helpful to use redirection. My ears do not listen to whining, you need to ask in a polite voice. The most important issue to this type misbehavior, is that men are accused of ignoring women all the time. If you do not tell her that you are purposely ignoring her, or you are choosing not to respond to this type of behavior, she will know that you hear her and dont approve of that behavior. This also enables you to stay above the nagging and whining, keeping your frustration at bay. When she is disobedient, give a firm warning to stop. Think about what you are doing. If you continue, you will be spanked. You decide! Read the original article. This website uses cookies to improve user experience. By continuing to use our website you consent to all cookies in accordance with our cookie policy. Share on Facebook. Share on Twitter. Editor's Blog. What happens, though, is that children who are spanked may learn to obey an authority figure, but not necessarily to develop an internal sense of right and wrong. They may learn to be obedient, but not necessarily to take responsibility for their actions. After all, they only get spanked if they get caught. Many children who are spanked just learn not to get caught! In addition, teaching children to be obedient to authority figures can be dangerous in today's society. Many people pose as authority figures in order to take advantage of children. Effective discipline teaches children that there are logically related consequences for ALL misbehavior, whether there is an authority figure present or not. In choosing a "punishment", parents should make sure it is logically linked to the misbehavior because it's this logical relationship which teaches responsibility. As we said last month, children are faced with tough decisions in today's society. These decisions require the child to have an internal sense of right and wrong, to be able to make responsible choices without relying on an authority figure. The problem with spanking is that the child can't learn to be responsible because there's no logical relationship between the spanking and the misbehavior, it's simply an arbitrary form of retaliation on the part of the parent. The final reason that we should substitute another form of discipline for spanking is that it teaches our children a very negative way to handle anger and problems. Shure, Pocket Books. Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child: D, with Joan Declaire, Simon and Schuster. Kesey, Ed. Berkeley Publishing Group. Child Trends Databank. Attitudes Towards Spanking. University of Michigan Health System. Spanking out, talking in: Most parents opt to talk with misbehaving kids. Last Updated: Jan 1, All Rights Reserved. Follow Us On. Should I spank my child? Spanking may seem like a direct and effective way to do that, but it delivers other messages you don't want to send: Spanking teaches your child to fear you -- not to listen to you or respect you. He may also be humiliated and resentful, and retaliate by being uncooperative. The result: You'll be less able to reason with and set effective limits for your child. Spanking teaches your child that when he make mistakes, you'll punish him rather than give sympathetic guidance. It erodes trust and disrupts the bond between you and your child that will allow him to be confident and flourish. Might makes right. If you spank, your child may learn that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems. Not surprisingly, perhaps, studies show that kids who are spanked are more likely to hit and fight with other children..

I would love to get advice because I really am on the edge and getting desperate… I have an 8 year old kid who is If she misbehaves we spank her behaved for the most part, he is noble, not a bully, intelligent, and in fact we found out he was being bullied at school.

The problem is that he does not like when people make fun of him and I do not blame him, who would like that. Last time he spat at my sister in law face and I felt so embarrassed but also angry at my wife as she was the one starting the whole thing. Anyway, my wife decided it was time for a spank and she did it. I could hear how my son was being defiant asking her, how many times was link going to hit him with the belt, then after the whipping he asked if that was all.

She If she misbehaves we spank her hit him harder and at that point I could hear him start to cry in here. How do you deal with that? A kid who is not afraid of spanking? I know for the most part I am to blame as I have punished him in the past but then let him go off the punishment. The best way to teach your child is to take something off them for a week that they love doing, it stops that repetitive task because the child feels like they have nothing to do they think about what they have done wrong click here find an alternative solution to keep them selves occupied with their time, however at other times there will be scenarios where a good smack is needed but should be avoided, it all depends on the scenario.

A child may develop the attitude that they are untouchable and become even more disruptive without tough love or a firm voice, for example a brother might become abusive to his sister, you can talk to him in any tone you like take any action you want with no results until If she misbehaves we spank her course the correct action was taken to rectify that by a good firm smack.

Not all If she misbehaves we spank her respond the same way inherited traits can also be a problem. For parents who do choose to spank, the proper philosophy and approach is extremely important. Too begin with, as with all forms of correction, the concepts of punishment and discipline are absolute opposites. On the other hand, discipline is motivated by love for the child, focuses on the future, and results in obedience and feelings of security. A child should always receive a clear warning before any offense that might merit a spanking and understand why they are receiving this disciplinary action.

The spanking should be lovingly administered in a clear and consistent manner. Afterward, the lesson If she misbehaves we spank her be gently reiterated so that If she misbehaves we spank her child understands and learns If she misbehaves we spank her this teachable experience.

So spanking, when used judiciously, appropriately, https://mom.katcr.press/post10902-ranejule.php in combination If she misbehaves we spank her other disciplinary techniques, can be a helpful part of training our children.

Hi, I have a month old son who is currently into throwing things. Everything that gets into his hands. And he often does this out of frustration.

We tried to tell him numerous times that it is not good to throw things away. Last night, he did it again and my husband slapped his hand, hard enough to make him cry. I feel bad seeing him cry and I had to hold myself back not to reach out to him and just hug him. How do you combat this kind of behavior?

Real live ass whooping worked for me. The science is flawed and one sided. My mom had 4 kids and we all got beat.

Those beatings produced an ICU nurse, a teacher of the year, a law professor, and a trauma surgeon. Her sister had 3 kids who got no beatings and she had 7 grand kids before her oldest child was Maybe it goes If she misbehaves we spank her to what we learned from white slave owners. Deb, you have a very civilized way of expressing your excellent insights that I very much admire.

I just want to put this out there. It would be reportable, meaning to say, any physician, teacher etc. They also defy logic. So I been reading a lot of articles, reading all the comments here, listening to a lot of comedian standups, and arguments, on BOTH sides of the issue: They will become self-loathing, violent, and tolerant of dishing abuse, and possibly in jail.

A child like an adult will have a million factors in their lives surrounding them, genetically, environmentally, socially. And what that means is everyone is gonna turn out in random ways no matter what happens to them.

Spanking works if, and ONLY if, the hitting comes rarely enough, and just badly enough to be of a shock to the child, but not so earth shatteringly painful or harsh and common they become numbed to it. This will result in neuroses, or just even worse rule breaking anyway.

But what do you do with a brat who never listens to the soft approaches? Ah, there is the rub. You have to find substitution of a harsh kind of punishment that is just as shocking, but still will result in a lack of resentment. And the problem is…. Most female acts of misconduct occur as part of a pattern.

Women develop these behavior patterns in order to get what they want or to express an emotion. There are four typical patterns of misbehavior. Annoying misbehavior - such as whining, teasing, nagging, pouting. Disobedient misbehaviors - such continue reading not following rules, not doing chores.

Defiant misbehavior - such as refusing to listen or arguing. Aggressive misbehavior - which can be verbal such as name calling, put downs, If she misbehaves we spank her physical, such as hitting or fighting. What is the purpose of the misbehavior? Identifying the pattern point to the purpose or function of the misbehavior. Although you can never be certain of the If she misbehaves we spank her or purpose, we know that most misbehavior does have a purpose. When misbehavior is annoying, she may be trying to get If she misbehaves we spank her way.

She may be trying If she misbehaves we spank her get you to give in or change your mind. When she is disobedient, it may be that she is not internally or externally motivated to do what you want her to do. She may be very motivated to do something else, like ignore you. This can lead to defiance. She who is defiant is typically after control or power.

She either does not want to do what you ask or she wants to do what you do not permit. She, who exhibits aggressive behavior is often expressing anger, frustration, or revenge. She may be hurt because she did not get their way or because she believes that you have done something against her. Take action. Ignore annoying behaviors.

This does not mean to ignore the problem. The correct action is to ignore the whining or teasing. Do not give in to demands. Lesbian videos wii compatible. The short answer is no. When your child misbehaves or acts in defiant, inappropriate, or even dangerous ways, you want to show him his behavior is unacceptable and must change.

Spanking may seem like If she misbehaves we spank her direct and effective way to do that, but it delivers other messages you don't want to send:.

That's a natural question. After all, most of us were spanked as children -- 82 percent, according to the latest poll -- and we didn't turn out so bad, did we? We may feel that our parents were good parents, that they spanked us because they loved us, so why shouldn't we practice the same "tough love" on our kids? The answer is that we know far more about the negative effects of spanking than we used to.

Our parents may have loved us; they may have been been wonderful parents. But if they knew what we know now, they might not have spanked us. Among other things, research shows that children who are physically punished by their parents are more likely to engage in violent, aggressive behavior -- both as children and as adults.

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Only a few decades ago some child-rearing experts -- even noted pediatrician Benjamin Spock -- saw spanking as an acceptable way If she misbehaves we spank her discipline children. But Dr. Spock and his colleagues have learned better. Today the American Academy of Pediatrics and other child health organizations strongly oppose physical punishment in children. In a study released in Julya psychologist who analyzed six decades of research on corporal punishment found that it puts children at risk for long-term harm that far outweighs the short-term benefit of on-the-spot obedience.

Psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff of Columbia If she misbehaves we spank her National Center for Children in Poverty found links between spanking and aggression, anti-social behavior, and mental health problems.

If she misbehaves we spank her spent five years analyzing 88 studies of corporal punishment conducted since Another study by psychologist Murray Straus, If she misbehaves we spank her of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, followed children between the ages of 2 and 4 and made this surprising finding: Kids who were spanked scored lower on tests that measured their ability to learn.

Straus thinks the reason may be that parents who don't spank their children spend more time talking and reasoning with them. Straus also believes that spanking may get children to stop misbehaving in the short run, but it makes them more likely to act out in the long run.

His study found that the more children were spanked, the more likely they were to fight, steal, and engage in other antisocial behavior. This echoes several other studies, which found that children who are hit at home are more likely to become juvenile delinquents as teenagers than those who weren't physically punished.

Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to suffer from depression. Don't do it. Young children are especially fragile because their brains are still developing. Every year, thousands of kids 2 and under are injured -- sometimes killed -- when they are shaken or hit. Shaken infant syndrome, as doctors call it, most often happens to kids under 1 and sometimes to those under 2. It can cause cerebral hemorrhage, blindness, severe brain damage, and even death.

While a significant number of parents still use corporal punishment, recent research shows that the majority are now choosing not to physically discipline their children. A survey by the Gallup organization found that 94 percent of parents said they had physically punished their 4- and 5-year-old children, and nearly 30 percent of the parents admitted to hitting children between 5 and 12 with belts, paddles, or other objects.

But a University of Michigan poll suggests a national trend toward non-physical discipline, with just 38 percent of parents saying they are likely to spank or paddle children between the ages of 2 and 5. Spanking may temporarily stop an annoying behavior. But parenting is a long-term proposition, and https://rimming.katcr.press/video81-helun.php shows that in the long-term spanking isn't effective.

Many parents who start spanking soon find they need to up the learn more here -- to spank more and harder in order to If she misbehaves we spank her their child's attention.

Hitting a child while yelling, "this is the only way If she misbehaves we spank her can get through to you," becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many experts have also found that over time, spanking makes a child angry and resentful; he also becomes less -- not more -- willing to do what you ask. That pattern can begin as early as age 1. A study published in the Journal of Developmental Psychology, for instance, found that 1-year-olds who were frequently spanked by their mothers were far If she misbehaves we spank her likely to ignore Mom's requests, compared to children who were rarely or never spanked.

It helps to remember that young children, especially 2- and 3-year-olds, are going to push your buttons and If she misbehaves we spank her limits -- it's part of their job description.

And it's natural article source you to get extremely angry with your child sometimes, but if you make an ironclad rule for yourself that you won't hit your child -- ever -- you'll avoid the negative consequences of spanking.

You'll also avoid a situation in which anger can turn a light slap turn into a dangerous blow. Of course, you will still get frustrated and furious at times -- it's inevitable. It helps to remember that it's hard being If she misbehaves we spank her and 3. One minute, you're all-powerful and can do anything without help. The next minute, you're frustrated, unable to accomplish a simple task, and throwing a toy across the room.

As your child lurches back and forth between being powerful and feeling humiliated, you can help him save face with your understanding and support. If you're the primary caregiver for your child, cultivate friendships with other parents and set up playdates -- they'll give you a break and are a fun way for your child to feel more independent and learn new social skills.

Have friends or family you can call in a pinch, and try to plan some time off for yourself. Many communities have parent talk lines you can call if you're feeling stressed out and fear you might lose your temper. Your pediatrician or your birth hospital can help you find one.

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One minute, your new skills make you feel all-powerful and confident. The next minute, you're frustrated by a difficult task and throwing a toy across the room in a tantrum. As your child lurches back and forth between being powerful and feeling humiliated, your job as a parent is to help him save face and learn how to manage those difficult feelings.

Try operating at your child's pace when possible rather than trying to If she misbehaves we spank her him to move at yours. Be as flexible as you can, but be unyielding on the important things, especially issues of safety. When you feel you must If she misbehaves we spank her your child, remember that, in his eyes, your disapproval or anger is the heaviest punishment of all.

And any punishment you do mete out should be immediate, because a child this young can't think about later consequences, only what's happening right here and now.

So if he misbehaves in the morning, don't tell him he can't watch a video that night. But if he acts up in the video store and refuses to stop, you can pick him up and say "That's it, we're going now and we won't be able to get a video. Most importantly, demonstrate with your own action the kind of behavior you want If she misbehaves we spank her him. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid Just click for source admit it and to tell him you're sorry.

He'll be more likely to grow up into the kind of adult you're proud of. The Case Against Spanking: Hyman, Raising a Thinking Child: Shure, Pocket Books. Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child: D, with Joan Declaire, Simon and Schuster. Kesey, Ed. Berkeley Publishing Group.

If she misbehaves we spank her

Child Trends Databank. Attitudes Towards Spanking. University of Michigan Health System. Spanking out, talking in: Most parents opt to talk with misbehaving kids. Last Updated: Jan 1, All Rights Reserved. Follow Us On. Should I spank my child?

Chut Chatnaxxx Watch Video sex gif's. The "logic" that parents use to approach their children with this form of punishment varies. Some parents are completely conscious. In other words, they think "My child did something wrong. She must be punished. Therefore I will spank her to teach her a lesson. In other words, when their child misbehaves, they don't necessarily think it through, they just automatically react by spanking. Still other parents use spanking less as a disciplinary tool, and more as a way to release their own strong feelings of anger, frustration, or even rage. Sometimes these feelings aren't even because of something their child did. Most parents who spank are a combination of the three types of parents above. Sometimes they're conscious, sometimes they're simply reacting, and other times they are venting their own strong feelings. There is no doubt that the ways in which our children sometimes behave can evoke intense feelings of frustration, anger, even rage. Most parents discover depths of feeling they never knew they had until children arrived. But isn't spanking effective? How can I avoid spanking my child? How can I get my toddler to behave without spanking? What can I do instead of spanking? Make your home safe. Child-proof your living space so your child won't get into things or places he shouldn't -- and you won't be overtaken by a sudden panic. Avoid direct clashes. If you order your child to stop throwing his food and he obstinately refuses, distract him instead. You can almost always find a diversion. From the earliest time that a child can begin to understand, it's important to teach morality. That is, the child should learn to do the right thing because it's right, not because he'll be punished if he doesn't do it. This can be done by explaining to the child why it's wrong to do something that may be hurtful to others. For instance, rather than saying, "If you hit me, I'll hit you back," try saying, "You shouldn't hit me because it hurts, and you know how it feels to be hurt. Teach children to avoid danger. Rather than spanking your child if he nears a dangerous spot like the fireplace , show him the fireplace and repeat his word for pain such as "owie". Soon your child will point, say "owie," and avoid the dangerous spot. Use your imagination. You're also bigger and stronger than your child you can use that to defuse a situation, rather than letting it escalate. If your child won't head for his room when it's bedtime, pick him up and turn him into an airplane heading for the runway -- his bed. Make room for negative feelings. Let your toddler express feelings like anger, sadness, and disappointment, and empathize with him "You must feel mad about that". At the same time, set limits on inappropriate behavior. You can tell him, for example, that it's okay to feel mad at his little sister for knocking over his blocks, but that he can't hit her or call her mean names. American Guidance Service. Discipline That Works, Thomas Gordon, Plume Penguin. Discipline with Dignity, Richard L. Parents who believe they have no alternative except to spank their misbehaving children do not need finger-wagging lectures from clinicians. But they do need professional support and education, aimed at reducing their level of stress and increasing their use of alternatives to corporal punishment. Ronald W. This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article. This website uses cookies to improve user experience. The entire process before hand is where the learning happens. The child misbehaved, you warned them, they tested your resolve and you showed that you were not lying. The child learns that you are not to be tested. In fact, the spanking may not be necessary. It is of utmost importance that the punishment be immediate. Obviously, there are a plethora of other ways to instill an understanding of what is good or bad behavior. We often make subconscious assumptions about what a child understands, especially as the become teenagers. The child is small, weak, clumsy and hopelessly ignorant. They see the parent as gigantic, strong, highly skilled and inconceivably knowledgeable. Maybe not in those words though. You may as well be an alien. And finally, when they become an adult and begin to leave their parents, they are left with warped memories of how amazing or terrible their parents were. And by the time they become a parent themselves, their knowledge of what childhood was like is condensed into a handful of highly formative and often distorted memories. It becomes more evident as their age climbs into the double digits. But do they? The question is rhetorical. You cannot stop children from making any bad decisions. Which is why the truth of their parents imperfect humanity can hit a kid hard. It shatters their world view and causes them to question the validity of the way they were raised. This, in my opinion, is the most difficult part of being a parent and a child. Both parties needing to recognize their fallibility but also still trying to live up to certain expectations of one another? But the truth is, that would actually be a wonderful system. At least it would mean discussions were being had and opposing viewpoints were being considered. Most family units are actually more like a dictatorship, monarchy or even sharia law — where power of decision is uneven, discussions are frequently denied and eventual rebellion or secession is the most likely outcome. My final point is this — honest discussion is the most important thing in any family. Speech and empathy are a human feature that greatly separates us from animals, but often go underutilized. Any guidance you have for that, Deb? Unfortunately, it is logically impossible to smack a child and leave them feeling loved and respected. The very nature of this act is demeaning, humiliating and confusing to a child. This is why parents, such as yourself, that spank, must then explain to your child why you spanked and that you did it because you love them. Unfortunately, this message is not directly translated to a child, most will misinterpret the act. There are SO MANY more ways to effectively discipline your child that make spanking obsolete, unnecessary, and mediocre as a discipline tool. I am here to teach you MUCH more effective ways to discipline. Hi, I found your article very helpful. Thank you. Also, thanks for this outlet. We have five children. Today I spanked two of them. Today I walked away from a volatile situation to decide what I would do. I thought to spank them; and made the decision to carry it out. I just remember it being almost comical. Unfortunately I am not laughing tonight. In fact, I feel like an awful father. One of the children looked at me with a look that crushed me. It was easy to tell them what they did wrong. What was difficult was to explain or justify that what I did was right. I felt like a connection was broken. Like something had been lost. There was confusion on both ends. I found my self potentially over compensating during bed time by producing an enormous amount of love. They were both receptive and seemed to be ok. The risk of affecting their self-esteem, or causing them to be afraid of a possible outcome with respect to me is just something I am not willing to risk. I want them to always feel safe and open. I have read a few peer-reviewed articles about spanking since the event today. I want to go wake them up and apologize for my poor decision. Thank you, Michael. Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt analysis of your experience with spanking your kids. I think you are a hero and I applaud you for your search, both inward AND outward. One of the natural out comes of the 8-Week Positive Parenting Class is that parents no longer spank or yell at their kids. The objective is to learn ways to discipline that build respect and trust while at the same time correcting their misbehavior. This is not letting them get away with anything! I would welcome you to class and very much look forward to working with you. If you have any more questions, feel free to email me at debbie positiveparenting. That definitely can be confusing for them. After its over we love in each other and its ok. I just wanted to say my piece and Im in no way trying to tell you that how to be a parent. Ever since I can remember my parents use to take off my clothes and my underwear and whip my bare bottom and vulva with a belt. The stinging welts and bruises it left were just awful. Are you kidding me right now?? My parents spanked me as a child and guess what it did… It made me respect authority. I now have a 1 year old son and will raise him the same way my parents raised me. I completely agree with Brian, Larry and Jess and anyone else who truly understand the power of a good spanking. My girl is also one and is the absolute last person on Earth i would ever hit. Millions of years spanking worked. Children were raised knowing not to cross the line. There were no school shootings, teen pregnancy was almost non existent, drugs…. Yup, all of that crap above is what caused our kids to be in the shape we now find ourselves. Congratulations …. I completely agree, these parents nowadays are out of touch with reality. I knew kids who never got spankings growing up, and everybody hated them. They were snobs and never thought before they spoke. One of those kids shot and killed a classmate of ours, and he came from a good home. So rethink your outlook on this matter.. Got to agree with Joann. Spanking, in certain situations, to a certain extent, is absolutely necessary. I feel as a parent, you need to know what to pull out of your tool box and when. I was never spanked as a kid. That is because there was never a need to. I was a quiet and well-behaved child. My siblings, on the other hand, were not and they were spanked. So far my siblings and I are some of the kindest and most gentle people you would ever want to meet. There is no one size fits all parenting. Every one is different and some will require different things. Use your judgment. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, will ultimately become the people that they want to become. Not every child is the same. He simply wriggles from my hand and returns to what he doing sometimes more intensely. However, I find that I get his attention with a whack on his hand or legs. Then later, when he calms down I try to explain simply why he was slapped. He is three years old by the way and reasoning at this level is very close to impossible. I do not, and will not however apologize to anyone for this approach. While I do not intend to spank my child forever, but I do feel that it is necessary for toddlers with intense personalities— usually those with the inborn conviction that they are leaders. Additionally, while I sympathize and empathize with the commentors who have had very negative experiences with spanking- I do not believe that you have developed emotional issues simply because you have been spanked- but because of the attitude with which you were spanked. Disciplining your child must be married to understanding. Calling children names, swearing at them, staying angry at them is wrong. If your child feels that the discipline was a strike on the love you possess for them then it will affect them negatively. If you have had to beat your child do not do it simply because you are angry— do it with dignity. That is, do not continue being upset with your child after the punishment. That will help your child to understand that you are not upset at them but at the misdemeanor. In discipline we must remember it is not about destroying will but establishing clear lines between right and wrong. Not withstanding that not it is not a requirement to spank for evrything, Before you spank your child think about whether it is a lesson in right and wrong or simply about getting your way. Stupid or not stupid, evil or not evil…regardless…. I have never seen any of these alternatives work. And although my sister does not spank her kids, she agrees that she and I suffered no ill effects from our punishments. And believe me, I had a lot, but never the same one twice. Also, I had been lying about doing wrong far longer than I can remember getting spanked. Lying is normal for a child. This is great for step 1. But the next step i do is. Physical burden to give them time to think about their actions. Such as a 45sec to a 1 minute. Horse stance with arms out. Or puah ups or some sorta physical activity. This strengthens them physically as well as. Expels some of that energy. You cannot owes give in or time out. This teaches the. Young humans that you can be broken or will give up. This is why kids get trophies for nothing and end up spoiled. Remember raise and adult who can accept winning and losing. The world is harsh and so is war. Stopbaby and raise adults so what ever the future holds you know your children will be of sound mind, body and soul. Or raise a child the rest of your life, im sure for some thats fine too and you are whats awrong with this planet. You only have to see the way primates behave — its a natural response. Obviously not a full blown whack but a firm tap surely is OK. As a parent I feel far worse than the kid does — you can only give so many warnings that are totally ignored. Thanks for helping us all gain perspective and an alternative— really appreciate this — good read thank you. I agree with the author. The research clearly says that permissive and negligent parenting raises spoiled children, who do not respond to rules. Good job on this article! Wow, so many different opinions to this topic and I agree with both sides, spanking vs positive parenting. I would love to get advice because I really am on the edge and getting desperate… I have an 8 year old kid who is well behaved for the most part, he is noble, not a bully, intelligent, and in fact we found out he was being bullied at school. The problem is that he does not like when people make fun of him and I do not blame him, who would like that. Last time he spat at my sister in law face and I felt so embarrassed but also angry at my wife as she was the one starting the whole thing. Anyway, my wife decided it was time for a spank and she did it. I could hear how my son was being defiant asking her, how many times was she going to hit him with the belt, then after the whipping he asked if that was all. She then hit him harder and at that point I could hear him start to cry in pain. How do you deal with that? A kid who is not afraid of spanking? I know for the most part I am to blame as I have punished him in the past but then let him go off the punishment. The best way to teach your child is to take something off them for a week that they love doing, it stops that repetitive task because the child feels like they have nothing to do they think about what they have done wrong and find an alternative solution to keep them selves occupied with their time, however at other times there will be scenarios where a good smack is needed but should be avoided, it all depends on the scenario. A child may develop the attitude that they are untouchable and become even more disruptive without tough love or a firm voice, for example a brother might become abusive to his sister, you can talk to him in any tone you like take any action you want with no results until of course the correct action was taken to rectify that by a good firm smack. Not all children respond the same way inherited traits can also be a problem. For parents who do choose to spank, the proper philosophy and approach is extremely important. Too begin with, as with all forms of correction, the concepts of punishment and discipline are absolute opposites. On the other hand, discipline is motivated by love for the child, focuses on the future, and results in obedience and feelings of security. A child should always receive a clear warning before any offense that might merit a spanking and understand why they are receiving this disciplinary action. The spanking should be lovingly administered in a clear and consistent manner. Afterward, the lesson should be gently reiterated so that the child understands and learns from this teachable experience. So spanking, when used judiciously, appropriately, and in combination with other disciplinary techniques, can be a helpful part of training our children. Hi, I have a month old son who is currently into throwing things. Everything that gets into his hands. And he often does this out of frustration. We tried to tell him numerous times that it is not good to throw things away. Last night, he did it again and my husband slapped his hand, hard enough to make him cry. I feel bad seeing him cry and I had to hold myself back not to reach out to him and just hug him. How do you combat this kind of behavior? Real live ass whooping worked for me. The science is flawed and one sided. My mom had 4 kids and we all got beat. Those beatings produced an ICU nurse, a teacher of the year, a law professor, and a trauma surgeon. Her sister had 3 kids who got no beatings and she had 7 grand kids before her oldest child was Maybe it goes back to what we learned from white slave owners. Deb, you have a very civilized way of expressing your excellent insights that I very much admire. I just want to put this out there. It would be reportable, meaning to say, any physician, teacher etc. They also defy logic. So I been reading a lot of articles, reading all the comments here, listening to a lot of comedian standups, and arguments, on BOTH sides of the issue: They will become self-loathing, violent, and tolerant of dishing abuse, and possibly in jail. A child like an adult will have a million factors in their lives surrounding them, genetically, environmentally, socially. And what that means is everyone is gonna turn out in random ways no matter what happens to them. Spanking works if, and ONLY if, the hitting comes rarely enough, and just badly enough to be of a shock to the child, but not so earth shatteringly painful or harsh and common they become numbed to it. This will result in neuroses, or just even worse rule breaking anyway. But what do you do with a brat who never listens to the soft approaches? Ah, there is the rub. You have to find substitution of a harsh kind of punishment that is just as shocking, but still will result in a lack of resentment. And the problem is…. Sometimes a kid is just going to resent you and rules period. No matter how tough, how nice, how cruel, how understanding the parent is. People are built differently, with all sorts of issues, mental illness, boundaries, and obstacles. The parents of broken kids might not always be broken themselves, but more often then not, the inverse is actually true: The only and I mean ONLY rational time I see someone needing to hit and there is literally no other method, is if the child is about to start doing something life threatening to themselves or another child, and there is virtually no hope of stopping the child or catching their attention in any other way. If the kid is playing with a knife, or about to touch a hot stove, and yelling and threats and distractions will not be fast enough or have no effect YOU MUST intervene as fast as possible to prevent harm and drive the signal home. Hitting is like using a battering ram to open an unlocked front door. You do not usually NEED to hit, and the consequences of having hit the child, like that battering ram, will only result in further damage. The problem is, too many parents have just not enough energy to do other forms of discipline, or suffer mental illness themselves, or at worst, get a sick thrill out of control and causing abusive harm. That child will grow to know this, and will NOT forget easily. Spanking is NOT evil and if done right is certainly not abusive. Likewise, NOT spanking your kid is not wrong or coddling. What you have to understand is that as a parent, you need to figure out if spanking or not is going to best set your child on the straight and narrow. Managing female misbehavior Uploaded by biancabillen. Here is a plan that will help you determine the most effective way of managing female misbehavior. Flag for inappropriate content. Related titles. Jump to Page. Search inside document. Documents Similar To Managing female misbehavior. Kept Well. Erik Ivan Espinoza. Jimi White. Dragan Milovanovic. Pastor David. Tim Taliaferro. Thomas Salas. Eric Sanford. Popular in Punishment. Nick Pearce. Arjumand Adil. Ram Mohan Atmakuri. Sons Yesu. Rahmat Ari Wibawa. Alex Syulikwa. Moniruzzaman Juror. Anonymous dCk6YA..

Spanking may seem like a direct and effective way to do that, but it delivers other messages you don't want to send: Spanking teaches your child to fear you -- not to listen to you or respect you.

He may also be humiliated and resentful, and retaliate by being uncooperative. The result: You'll be less able to reason with and set https://freckled.katcr.press/post768-wyviv.php If she misbehaves we spank her for your child.

If she misbehaves we spank her

Spanking teaches your child that when he make mistakes, you'll punish him rather than give sympathetic guidance. It erodes trust and disrupts the If she misbehaves we spank her between you and your child that will allow him to be confident and flourish.

Might makes right. If you spank, your child may learn that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems. Not surprisingly, perhaps, studies show If she misbehaves we spank her kids who are spanked are more likely to hit and fight with other children. Studies also show that children who are hit are more likely to become violent adults.

Poor self-esteem. Many studies have shown that hitting your child can hurt more than his body: It can injure his sense of self. He may reason that if he weren't such a bad boy, he wouldn't get hit. Studies by the late psychologist Irwin Hyman and colleagues at Temple University have shown that regardless of how nurturing a family is, spanking always lowers self-esteem. Bow source talks about sex.

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